The tears flow,I wish I could sleep, to drift down into unfeeling nothingness To cut myself off from this hollow emptiness But the tears flow and my thoughts SwirlPlaying out every twisted scenario of How I fucked it upHow I could have done it differently Of how much of a goddamn idiot I amStunted in emotions Stunted in heart Dead in the head Unable to express what it is that you truly meanTo meUnable to admit, for fear o...

I want to close my eyes Clench them tight to stop the Spill of salt water that aches to rush And fill this hollow void inside of me. The world shifts sideways Life revolves and history repeats Over and over the insanity of it Drives me further inside myself. Where is that breath of air I need so desperately Where is that space? The sunlight fades on my yesterday and Fails to rise on my tomorrow. Were I to dance in the lon...

When is there a day for sweet sadness? Where; a road for that lonely journey? Locked behind that window pane of caged glass A prison of our own devising that we label A ‘living’… That such living is a myth, A lie we tell ourselves to make the tedium of it bearable, We question not because it has become a necessity The accepted evil in a society that has lost the penchant for Celebration of the simple things – the good thi...

 I have no feelings, Lost A hollow sense of self. I want what I cannot have and Yearn for all that is beyond my reach. I want to wake up gone, Adrift in heaven Away from a world that hurts, If a broken heart hurts What then of a broken soul? Crumpled and kicked Longing for release But kept strung out on this thing called life A sick addition that caves in the spirit And turns it bitter to Grinding teeth and evil eyes And...

Here in my lonely heart, Betwixt that narrow moment of light and shadow Wherein lies the truth that is me. Across the blue expanse, in that open space of nothingness Where angels fall and dance across the barrenness of my enduring soul; Rests the small ember that struggles to drift away into darkness, And find within a sea of chaos a small island of tranquillity. Tranquillity? What is tranquillity in this world that roars...

Sick and twisted me Lost in deviant sin The sweet taste of salt The tangy scent of honey Sweat and skin, Water and earth. Sick and deviant me Lost in twisted delight The slap of moving flesh The growl of anguished ecstasy Gasp and breathe Air and fire. Languid soul v. roaring heart Eloquent sigh v. sordid mouth Oh yes, please, Deviant and twisted me. ~ Sweet and delicate me Masked and yet laid bare The innocence of an ang...

Where has all the magic gone? Hearts that shatter and fall. When the future disappears in a shroud of smoke Lost to eyes that once saw it so clearly. Where has all the wonder gone? Souls that fade away. Life that meanders and laughs At the sad little twist it has. I sat upon the mountain, Breathless from the climb And laughed at the wonder of the world Now I sit amongst the many masses Breathless from the tears As I lamen...

Tidal flow Ebb and fall Like the beating of my heart From strong to faint In an eerie lance of muted light Jealousy rises up in my absence And I lose my nerve I teeter as solid foundation Crumbles under me once more And I doubt. I see the words, I see the fluttering hearts I witness with envy The batting of eyelashes and The smirking of smiles Directed at you And I have to wonder Can I truly believe? Space reaches out Ins...

Scatter me on the wind Let me drift away Across a world gone mad Let me disappear into the void Float across space Let me burn up in the sun Immolate me in fire And let me be reborn As something new Something innocent Take away the pain That shrouds my heart Take away the need That fills my soul Show me what it is to be brave To live free To wander and wonder At all there is And at all there will ever be Let me see the wo...

Forgotten on the breeze It slips past and is lost Opportunity comes to tease Says come and play Then dashes away Like a laughing child All gay and merry. You feel it slipping through your fingers Time... Life... Love You want to keep it Hold it close But you keep grasping at straws. The grains of sand Drift away on the wind. Oh, how you dream, yearn For all that you desire But never quite believe That you will ever truly...

Secret He is there in my heart A flutter in my stomach A warmth so precious and clean I hold him deeply And guard him jealously Scared that one day he will awaken And see in me the imperfections The many scars The many broken pieces of my soul And run so far from me. I ache at the very thought And know that devastation Would be all that was left Inside me If ever he knew Just how much I need him Just how much I want him J...

Take away all that is the best of me Suck me dry and render it down Leave me a hollow husk of former life Gone... and all because of you. Why do I hang upon your every word? Why do I cling to myth and mirth? Why can’t I simply say enough! And leave. And run. Run! Far and fast, away from you. Ignore that which breaks in my chest Ignore this glowing thing that threatens to die To erase my existence, so I drift away Lost and...

So, I don't know why, but I got to thinking today...(I know scary huh?) How well do we ever really know anyone? I know its not a new question by any means, and no doubt there have been many papers, books, letters, stories and so on written about this very issue. But let us agree that it is really the first time that I have seriously thought about it. How well do we ever know someone? I look at my husband and I really wond...

Strikes at the heart and oft times will not release mefor days I brood, my world a small focus inside my head At times no bigger than myself and the world just fades away. I lock myself away, not literally, just emotionally, Shut off all my receptors, ignore those that matter, those that care Lose myself in the unquiet of my mind and float in a Seething mass of unhelpful feelings. Dreams and wishes jump at me, Wants and n...