I love boobs. They’re fun to play with, feel, suck and look at. Boobs are great fun. That’s not where my love of them stops, though. My point of view about breasts is controversial, though it really shouldn’t be. They serve a biological function. Let’s forget all about the fact that they’re sexy and fun to look at and play with. The fact is, their primary purpose is for feeding babies. It’s always baffled me why men can c...

A mighty midnight monstercomes creeping and crawling.It wants your blood, wants to devour you.It lurks ‘neath the bed, biding its time,plotting, scheming... It must have your flesh.Its pointy teeth are sharper than cheese,its claws are enough to make you beg “please!”A growling laugh, a moaning bellow,it’s really not a very nice fellow.Under the bed is from whence it creeps,whilst its victim innocently sleeps.Eyes of blac...

This musing, which is really more of an outpouring of crap, will be shorter than usual. As some of you know, I’ve been having a lot of wrist pain for the past year or two. It’s been getting progressively worse since I took my current job. You’ll have noticed that I don’t post as much as I used to, even in the forum.The reasons for that are twofold: One, a certain now-ex-member made it difficult to find the fun in writing,...

Just because I gave a man a thock,I’m in the dock,for one wee thock.He batted my sushi away,“meat is murder”, he did bray,so he got a thock,and now I’m in the dock.The judge, not easily swayed,decided I was to be put away,for thirty days, no less!The veggie activist smirked,oh that bastard, he really irked!Shouted his phrase,So I gave him another thock.The judge wasn’t happy,clearly, he shat his nappy,gave me another thir...

An irksome quirk of thesystem at work,is the way it misinterpretsdates. If you've lived in your house since birth, the system saying:"Date cannot be earlier than date of birth"really doesn't bring any mirth. A simple symbol would be all it tookto rectify that silly mistook. "Equal to or greater than",not simply "greater than",and I'd whizz through that formin the manner of wham-bam. Programs I understand a little of,but f...

I have unfinished works: Poems and stories. I’d like to say it’s for a valid reason, but to be honest, I’m just lazy. I can’t seem to be bothered to finish writing a story, but I suppose I should keep on trying, and maybe something will stick. Stick!Like an insect,or sticky like sex,it’s all the same, I expect. As I write this, I wince in pain. Well, okay, maybe not quite wince, but the pain in my wrists is part of why I’...

The world is at unrest. We're all on tenterhooks. Governments running roughshod over civilians,civilians creating militaries,turning into terrorists.We're not far from war. Humans can't get along,never could. A constant swirling of dust,symbolising the turmoil.We can't stop hating,but we should. Why do we do such atrocious things?Beheading, rape, murder, psychological abuse, chemical and nuclear weapons.We're headed to de...

Little Luna, in the sky, burning bright, way up high,you guide my way home,even when I roam. My Goddess, my light,burning bright. In your gentle glow,I bask at night. Like the wolf, the cat, the owl and the bat,I love you, it's as simple as that.

Being in a long distance relationship is difficult. I hear people complaining about having to go to the shops for their beau, grumbling that the milk is in the wrong place in the fridge, laughing and holding hands together, and I want that. I’m envious of them because that’s all I want. I want the good, and the not-so-good. I just want to snuggle with Aria or exchange a knowing look. It won’t happen any time soon, but it...

Behind the door is another door and behind that door is a demon, but you already knew that. Behind the demon, there’s nothing. The demon is you, didn’t you know? You should do. Something tells me you’re not as self-aware as you think you are. Me? Oh, I don’t need to be self-aware, especially when I’m aware of you. That’s my curse, you see. Also my gift, if you want to look at it that way. People have said that some more s...

I dislike the journey home from work. I don’t mean I don’t like going home; it’s nice to go to a place where you feel safe and secure. I mean the actual journey itself. First, there’s the walk out of work. You’d think that would be quick, but no! Some people walk really slowly, and if I’m stuck behind them, my footsteps tend to be sarcastic. I never knew it was possible to express feelings in a gesture, like sarcasm with...

It’s killing me,exacting revenge for all the times I killed it.It’s not doing it quickly, either.Slowly, excruciatingly slowly, as if to torture me,it reaps my sorrow.A cold-blooded killer,this thing just laughs.It laughs and eats away at me,like guilt,but for no reason.What did I do to deserve such punishment?I killed something precious.We all have it,some of us, too much,some, too little,some just don’t notice it.Time.T...

“It’s just a piece of material, what’s the big fuss?” That line right there just incited a riot. A huge debate happened first, of course. “It’s not the flag, it’s what it represents!” said one man. “It’s our freedom!” said an elderly woman. “How dare you insult our flag! By doing that, you’re insulting our nation!” said another. The person of the original phrase, let’s call him Steve, was puzzled. He just didn’t understan...

The sanctimonious git is back,and now we'll all have to take the flack,for what, I don't know,but I've heard on the down-low,that his foredome is as furrowed,as a warren being burrowed.Now, let's take some time,to suss this idiot's chime.What makes him tick?Probably the fact, that he's such a huge prick.Not that he has one,he'd be lucky,no, his is as big,as a tiny rubber ducky.I think I've noodled it,why he's such a shit,...

This is a public announcement:Spiders are everywhere. You will have no doubt seen them, crawling about. They may appear normal, but they’re far from it. Many of them have evolved to understand our language, and due to our sensitivity about them, are gearing up to wage war upon us. Spiders normally aren’t harmful, until you hurt their feelings. It is the emotional hurt that makes them into monsters. They get angry and atta...