Just because I gave a man a thock,
I’m in the dock,
for one wee thock.

He batted my sushi away,
“meat is murder”, he did bray,
so he got a thock,
and now I’m in the dock.

The judge, not easily swayed,
decided I was to be put away,
for thirty days, no less!

The veggie activist smirked,
oh that bastard, he really irked!
Shouted his phrase,
So I gave him another thock.

The judge wasn’t happy,
clearly, he shat his nappy,
gave me another thirty days,
and the activist got some vin de pays.

Prison is fun, I’ve made some friends,
though one is convinced we’re more than friends.
I think I’ll hunt the activist down,
and then with Barry, I’ll make him drown.

Oh, not in water, not that, mon cher,
but in meat, yes sir, indeed Herr!
Meat is murder?
I’ve never heard anything more absurder!