“It’s just a piece of material, what’s the big fuss?”

That line right there just incited a riot. A huge debate happened first, of course.

“It’s not the flag, it’s what it represents!” said one man.

“It’s our freedom!” said an elderly woman.

“How dare you insult our flag! By doing that, you’re insulting our nation!” said another.

The person of the original phrase, let’s call him Steve, was puzzled. He just didn’t understand how a piece of material could inspire such patriotism.

“So, hang on,” Steve said, “If I burned your flag, I’d be burning your rights, liberties and freedoms?”

“You’d be insulting them, you moron!” the bartender shouted.

Nobody was on Steve’s side, or if they were, they were staying quiet, so Steve apologised and left. It was when he got to the door that the riot happened. A big, burly man, with a beard the size of a peninsula, stopped him. He grabbed Steve and informed him that he was going nowhere, then gave a nod to the bartender.

The burly man restrained Steve, whilst two of his friends locked the doors. Steve was in trouble, he was about to be filleted, when suddenly, another man stepped in. He wasn’t remarkable in stature, certainly not compared to the burly man and his friends, but he stood up for Steve. First, he tried reasoning with the burly man:

“If you’re all for your flag, why would you disrespect it, by beating this man up?”

“What are you on about? The law says that if someone gives disrespect to the flag, that he should be punished.”

“Yes, in a proper and just way. By the law. You’re not the law.”

“Nor are you, so fuck off!”

Burly Man threw Non-Remarkable Man across the room, and then proceeded to beat Steve, to ‘teach him a lesson’. How that was supposed to teach him, I don’t know, but that’s mob mentality for you.

After Steve was bloodied and beaten, the barman opened the doors and personally threw Steve and Non-Remarkable Man out with a message:

“Never come back!”

“Go fuck yourself!” Steve mumbled.

He couldn’t leave well enough alone, and swung a punch at Burly Man, missing wildly, but knocking Burly Man into an old woman, which made him curse:

“You stupid old bitch, get out of my way.”

This started the old woman’s husband, who hit Burly Man, then Burly Man’s friend hit the old man’s wife. From there, it just spiralled out of control. This riot has been raging for 23 hours already. Nobody seems to have realised why or how it started.

All that, just for a flag.