My most vivid memory of my evening with Prancer is not his admission that he was a murderer. Though unnerving it was consistent with his obvious paranoia. The most vivid memories are of what happened when I committed the faux pas of offering Prancer chopsticks with his General Tso’s chicken. Prancer was volatile. He could be aggressive one moment, but gentle and submissive the next. How I wound up eating Chinese food with...

“Three tee-hees do not constitute a manic episode! You are not bipolar,” Dr. Childers repeated. “You are depressed.” He seemed a bit irritated.“But they were three consecutive tee-hees!” I protested. “Not three tee-hees interspersed throughout the day like before!”“That doesn’t matter,” Dr. Childers retorted. “But since this tee-hee episode does seem to be significant to you, we should explore it.”“This three consecutive...

Guess what. In the larger scheme you’re not very important. You’re like a little dust mite that occasionally elicits a big sneeze, but ultimately winds up squished in a HEPA filter or on its back in a vacuum cleaner bag with its little legs flailing in the air.Your primary legacy will be your carbon footprint, which will continue to expand after you die. If you’re buried in some cement lined hole in a sealed box you won’t...

If my mother were still alive she would be 92 years old, twenty-six years my senior. Every Mother’s Day I fondly remember how well she took care of me. How she cooked and vacuumed and did my laundry and so many other things to keep our household going. If she were still alive I would be doing everything within my power to make sure that we lived together as long as she could still do those basic household chores.It’s funn...

Though most are aware of how debilitating and devastating anorexia can be, few are familiar with its most insidious form--Latent Anorexia. I’ve struggled with it my entire life; I hope that sharing this information will help others.Latent Anorexia is insidious precisely because it is latent--i.e.—there are no overt anorexic symptoms. The typical Latent Anorexic (LA) is overweight. (In my case, I am six feet two and two-hu...

I was eighty you a year youngerbut we smoldered with that hungerto feel passion and taste salty sweat.You were not much of a talkerbut looked so hot on your walker!I rolled up as close as I could get.We managed not to trip or swayas standing we began to playa prelude to our search for senior bliss.When you brushed against my thingysuddenly our love took wingy!We shed our dentures then we shared a kiss. I stroked the blue...

A society without a conscienceBereft of a moral compassCaring not for those who need helpDenying the humanity of its citizensEventually will be consumed by the dark.Fear will prevail.Good will succumb to itHope will be forever lostIgnominious transformation will be the result.Justice is indeed an elusive thing.Kindness may not defeat crueltyLove may not triumph over hate.Maybe the answer we seekNot at all complicated or s...

…………………………………………………………………………….. This was written for a micro fiction contest in which the story has to be exactly fifty-five words long. This filler is provided so that the entire story does not appear in the preview. …………………………………………………………………………….. …………………………………………………………………………….. ……………………………………………………………………………..……………………………………………………………………………..……………………………………………………………………………. Her head was on the pillow of the elevated hospita...

I will state one unequivocal thing about my colonic: I hated it! Please note that we have a colon used in a sentence referencing a colonic. I humbly suggest that usage like this henceforth be called a punctuation pun---just a thought that dashed through my brain. “What are other examples of punctuation puns?” you might question markedly. How about: “There is no doubt. She missed her menstrual cycle. Period.” “I hate you!”...

I turned to watch Alexis coming down the stairs. After twenty years she still took my breath away. “Why the stare?” Alex asked.“Because you’re more beautiful at forty-five than you were at twenty-five,” I answered. Alex walked up and kissed me.“Keep that up and you won’t get any sleep tonight!” she said as she winked at me. “Now what’s all the shouting about? Why did you drag me down here?”“You have got to see what just c...

This unit emphasizes intuitive reasoning with fractions and proportions. It also illustrates how to perform mental computations by simplifying problems. Lastly, it explores the notions of compassion and empathy. All the characters in the story are dogs. If pictures are available of Yorkshire Terriers, Labradors, Poodles, and Pit Bulls they can be shown to children as the story’s characters are introduced. Several discussi...

I always hoped when we were wedthat our humongous water bedwould be our special place of carnal passion.There whatever we might cravewe’d do upon a gentle wavesupping on our young libidos’ ration.And so it was that we’d make loveand I’d give you a gentle shoveand watch your body rise upon the billows.After years had passed a bitwe still made love on top of itand then we would sleep soundly on our pillows.But then a lot of...

On Housework(A poetic emotive grunt.)I hate housecleaning.Doing windows is a pane.And vacuuming sucks.--------------------------------------Of Men and Wind(A portrait of a primeval relationship.)When wind roars heed it.When wind brings the rain rejoice.If wind breaks exhale.--------------------------------------The Submissive Husband(A celebration of obedience.)I am your love slaveI exist just to please you.Go clean the b...

And hatred then consumed my soulafter your vile unfaithful act.Revenge became my only goaland thus came my satanic pact.All that mattered was to seeyou were destroyed in every way.Crying there in agonyuntil your hair was sparse and gray.And so each day a little trick!When I served you your meal in bedI put in some arsenicbut not enough to make you dead.Just enough to make you illto make your organs slowly fail.A little ha...

A pest control expert named Hermanabhorred any type of small vermin.He would spray and then scoopif he spotted their poop.His success rate was hard to determine.A woman the neighbors called Bethwould constantly take hits of meth.That’s what explainedwhy her teeth were all stainedand she always had horrible breath!A chef with no talent dubbed Natecould not make one thing that was great.But at his slightest wishhe could hav...