Therapy Stories

I just answered one of those calls that I get from the Vet Center the day before I go in for an appointment with my counselor. One of the nice things about having been in a war is that I get a free shrink for the rest of my foreseeable future. I remember seeing Dr. Sydney Freedman on M*A*S*H when I was a kid. There was an episode where Hawk-Eye was sick with a cold, that was psychosomatic because a friend had thrown him o...

Sounds in my mindReal or just pathologyMy family tries to be kindPatience wears thin in summer heatBed is my refuge where I find peaceNo need to talk, interact or eatSleep I slip into and refuse to wakeEpisodes that repeat, I'm sick of nowI'll rise and pretend, for my family's sakeA tunnel with no end, just curves and cracksWorth fighting for, my life, this time not sure howAdvice, suggestions, coddling, tough loveI've he...

“Three tee-hees do not constitute a manic episode! You are not bipolar,” Dr. Childers repeated. “You are depressed.” He seemed a bit irritated.“But they were three consecutive tee-hees!” I protested. “Not three tee-hees interspersed throughout the day like before!”“That doesn’t matter,” Dr. Childers retorted. “But since this tee-hee episode does seem to be significant to you, we should explore it.”“This three consecutive...

I was hoping that my new psychiatrist could help me conquer my fear of going outdoors. I had just finished explaining my situation to him.“It really is true,” Dr. Merlin said. “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself!" “Maybe if your only problem is a weak heart!” I noted. “But I find the thought of a crocodile twisting off my privates in a pond fear inducing!”“Just avoid crocodile-infested ponds,” Dr. Merlin sugges...

As I looked at my new psychiatrist Dr. Milford, I could see the gears turning. He had one of those transparent clocks in front of him on his desk. I could also see that he was thinking about what I had said. “So,” Dr. Milford said, “you are incapable of being serious about anything, you always act like a childish, boorish ass, and you alienate everyone with incessant silly, inane, inappropriate, immature jokes and antics....