Grammar Stories

An interesting thought, Though like it you may not,Is the fact that a writer,Could be much shiter......Without proper use of grammar.And if it was illegal you’d be in the slammer,For using incorrect fucking grammar,So just be thankful, when you miss that commaThat you won’t be put in an everlasting coma.Respect the comma,To tame the coma,Love the semicolon,But spare the colon:Too many of these and you’ll be no lon(ger).Us...

I will state one unequivocal thing about my colonic: I hated it! Please note that we have a colon used in a sentence referencing a colonic. I humbly suggest that usage like this henceforth be called a punctuation pun---just a thought that dashed through my brain. “What are other examples of punctuation puns?” you might question markedly. How about: “There is no doubt. She missed her menstrual cycle. Period.” “I hate you!”...

It's a dire diagnosis for our intrepid heroine... "We don't see you in here often, Maggie. What seems to be the trouble today?" "Well, doctor, its this darn apostrophe, thats how it started but things has got alot worse in the past couple days. I should of came in sooner. I know." "What exactly do you mean, 'this darn apostrophe'? I don't see any apostrophe." "Precisely my point! It went missing where I want it, than show...

It seems that lately I can’t get no peace, From all those so-called Grammar Police,Who for some reason think that I should care,The difference between there, they’re and their.They want to analyze everything I say,Just waiting for me to lie when I want to lay,And I really think they just do it because,They want to further some petty cause.So, what I do is I mess with there head,I write the word red when I really mean read...

FragmentedThat title — what on Earth could it mean?Has another heart been torn asunder?No, it refers to phrases trimmed too lean,Sentences lacking substance and thunder.Fragments, as they are commonly known;Lines missing at least one vital part.Though unable to stand on their own,They oft appear in literary art.These snippets bear just part of the blame —What a minefield writers must traverse!Run-ons to wrangle, tense shi...