I will never understand or heedthe voices bouncing aroundand ricochetting trying to leadDamaged connections and tissuewarp any sense I ever have of meSelf-worth not the only issueFighting with myself at nightWanting all and nothingI can never find the lightValue others see in mePerhaps they are blindAnd clearly, cannot seeI've just been castIn a life I never choseEach time worse than the lastLove surrounds me but noI esch...
They say that happiness is a choice I don't recall ever saying I don't want to be happy If happiness is a choice, doesn't that mean that depression is too? When standing in the line, I don't remember ever saying "yeah I decided I don't wanna see the light anymore. I want to feel like I'm walking down a dark hall for the rest of my life I never want to know when the light will flicker back on I never want to see a br...
She is cracked and dryShards of whatShould be.Empty air does not live here,A harsh lit space of nothingnessWhere blinding whiteScours reject sidesAnd spears of brokenStab the world.The winds of voicesFlow on pastUnheard.There is no soil or waterBound to take in seedsSoft blown alongTo settle lightly,Root down firm,For nothing livesIn arid pain.Tip the broken vesselOn her endFor shame.Noisome ooze of fecal oil,A black and...
Thoughts fly through my head, a million plus one because a million simply won't do. Pain, and heartache the mistakes I made yesterday a year ago, and the year before that. Emotions become jumbled is it real, or is it my brain Is it playing tricks on me again. I react, but is my reaction true because I fear that what I think just happened didn't really Love and hate a jumbled fucking mess are these really my thoughts? I...
Apathy clung suffocating herInhaling boredom, exhaling emptinessDaily life a blurShe welcomed change with bitternessHer bones wracked with discomfortWeighted down by inferiorityComplete annihilation of effortA grave lack of superiorityHer brain sucked dryThoughts brimming with criticismPleading; Wanting to cryShe lacked this mechanismExistence on the edge of a knifeSteadily coasting in absence Ravenous for the thrill of...
I am the moth in the jarHammering hard against glassAs it warms in the sunrise andBakes in the heatOn my fragile dry leafOf unfortunate soulEver flipping itselfTo get outAnd to breathe.Where the cruel sun beats downOn my wings turning vapidOver dryness insipidThat cracks ancient velvetThat once had held wisdomPotentially vibrant inDust-devil murmursThat whisper the secretsWe all knew and know now,I don't belong here. Thi...
I move my feetThey will not obeyI'm stuck right hereWhere I will stayI make honest stridesTo leave this placeNo one sees I try,It makes my heart acheThere's a block in my mindOr somewhere in my soulKeeping me behindKeeping me from my goalI need to find a way to clearThis consuming voidBefore I no longer hearThe sound of my own voiceThis is the first I could penDown from the deepI feel slightly lighterAnd it's simpler to j...
Sliding slowly towards the edge of the abyss,My mind begins its descent into the darkness,The pit of hell that constantly lurks out of sight,Like a shadow on the edges of consciousness,A nightmare place of unutterable terror,Where jeering demons await, hungry for their prey.Like a condemned man on the way to the scaffold,I see the leering faces of the mocking crowdCalling on me to save myself, their derisionLike a scourge...
I no longer need to makemarks on meA professional who tattooshas set me freeWhen certain thoughtsreturn and intrudeback into my lifefor reasons unknownI try to quiet themappease, silence the poisonbut I am unable to stop or copeI wear a myriad of scarsSelf-inflicted not that long agoShocking and saddening myselffamily and friends at a timewhen I was so very lowThe voices had quietedover the yearsLately, so many stressesan...
Time passes like it always does. But, this time here is different. This time I am alone. Alone, I have never been this alone before. It is not that sense of loneliness one gets when surrounded by people but no one who knows you. This is the loneliness that aches to one's inner soul. The kind one feels when their heart has been ripped away by a sudden loss. The loss an orphan, a widow, or mother of a miscarried child may f...
There is only darknessWhere all others hide their souls,A gravity so uglyWhere the air is rank and noisomeAnd the darkling ghosts hide screamingIn the humming, chasmic voidWhere she hides forgotten secretsIn the place she finds no floor.There are chains wrapped tight around herWhere vainglory's efforts fellIn existence ever futileWhen her life is reeking sicklyWhere the stink of rotting fettersDig in flesh so fat and weak...
You should be able to seeWhen I am struggling to beCold winds howl and shakeIt's harder now for me to wakeThis year you've turned blindLeaving me to flounder in my mindYears gone past you've held my handDon't leave me alone in this wastelandBack and forth, up an down, good and badI can't have taken all that you hadReach for me before I fall into the abyssI'll try and catch your hand, pray I don't missJust another winter,...
"Merry fuckin' Christmas," I said to myself as I walked across the parking lot and entered the barThe Cork and Bottle was a neighborhood joint that had a reputation for attracting a rough crowd. I wasn't worried as I could give better than I got if it came to that. It was Christmas Eve, and a lot of the places I frequent were closed, this was the only place I saw that was opened.I took a seat at the far end of the bar and...
The bite of the blade shocked her, as it pierced her tender pale flesh. Hesitation had always ruled this moment, as small droplets of blood beaded across her skin. Tonight, she knew her conviction had wavered for the last time. Darkness had long feasted on her frailties, and she craved the claim of shadows, the peace that would come when her lifeless form crippled below her. The bite of the blade shocked her, as it pierce...
