Sliding slowly towards the edge of the abyss,
My mind begins its descent into the darkness,
The pit of hell that constantly lurks out of sight,
Like a shadow on the edges of consciousness,
A nightmare place of unutterable terror,
Where jeering demons await, hungry for their prey.

Like a condemned man on the way to the scaffold,
I see the leering faces of the mocking crowd
Calling on me to save myself, their derision
Like a scourge, as I spiral down into madness,
Just retribution for a traitorous fool,
Betrayer of long-suffering and constant love.

But penetrating the enveloping blackness,
I glimpse a pinprick of light far in the distance,
An unwavering beacon that grows in brightness, 
As it reaches down into the clouds of despair,
Seeking to pluck me from the fierce talons of death
Into the warmth and sunshine of unending love.

Although I may have treated her despicably,
Cruelly accusing her of inconstancy,
Despite her distress and pain, she remained true
To eternal promises made long in the past,
And through her falling tears, extends her loving arms
To bear me up and gently salve my tortured soul.

Then, without warning, my mood suddenly changes,
Swinging dramatically from brute desolation 
To the opposite extreme of wild elation,
And a giddy feeling of transcendent lightness
Suffuses my entire being, and taking wing,
My mind blazes a trail of fire across the sky.

A thousand voices fill my head like living flames
With visions that flow like quicksilver through my thoughts,
And exalted by feelings of godlike power,
I float in a hallucinogenic dreamworld, 
Where pulsating kaleidoscopic images
Describe incandescent patterns inside my mind.

But the euphoric visions too soon start to fade,
And from the heavenly summit of ecstasy
I fall back to earth in self-loathing and despair,
Assailed by those demons of jealousy and doubt 
Whose assault on my fractured personality,
Feeds my paranoia with their spiteful urgings.

Powerless against the dark enemies who lurk
Deep within the recesses of my diseased mind,
The harsh clamour of whose voices batters my soul,
I am convinced that I am unworthy of love,
And abandoned in the struggle for sanity,
I am forever condemned to a lonely death.

Pierced by the instruments of self-accusation,
I fall ever further into the flames of hell,
Convicted by my crimes against truth and goodness,
But my only shield against unrelenting fate, 
She is too determined to accept defeat,
Her only weapon the simple strength of her love. 

At last, after a long struggle, the storm abates,
And the ship of my soul enters calmer waters,
Soon to find a safe haven in her loving arms.
Without the lifeline of her generous courage  
I would have been lost eternally in the deep,
Shipwrecked on the treacherous reefs of self-pity.

In time I will find a measure of inner peace,
And the bleeding lacerations that scar my mind,
Will be healed by the sweet balm of her tender love.
Whatever future happiness and joy I find
Will be entirely because of her refusal
To let me fall forever into the darkness,

I can find no clever words adequate to tell
Those unpretentious qualities of mind and heart,
That are the mark of her nobility of soul,
And my only hope of eternal salvation,
Will be because of her unselfish devotion,
And the unrestrained generosity of spirit.

The constancy of her unconditional love,
Exposes the vanity of my self-regard,
And in humility, I see this simple truth
That the abiding strength of her modest virtues
So graciously given despite my cruelty,
Is my gateway to redemption and lasting peace.
 

*Dedicated to the gracious lady who has so often lifted me from darkness into light