I usually appreciate the winter solstice, because I love the mysterious chilly nights and the warm lights that stave it off from inside houses. Warm glasses of tea while gazing into the dark sky by the fire reflecting on life and love and blessings. But this year has been so difficult for so many reasons that I am carrying too much darkness, and the early nights are gut-wrenching. How can one feel loved and still feel alo...

I know what it means to stand alone,to be of the faceless and unknown,one of the unwanted and unloved,the condemned and shunned To stand on the precipice of your own demise,with nothing to hold but your own hopeful lies,a disease or your ruin or your own mental maul,whatever it is that promises your fall In a world that can be cold and cruel,you lie between the hammer and anvil,at the mercy of the oncoming blow,a slave to...

Sadly,As I pen this tome,I once again,Find myself alone. When I was young,I had such dreams,I wasted them all,Falling apart at the seams. My life was lived,In parceled moments,The ones I loved,Became opponents. The joy within,That young boy’s laughter,Became cries to the man,Losing what I sought after. What chance had I,Being the likes of me,For who could place value,On a mud-crusted penny. I forlornly watched,As the rose...

 A hungry lion can end a life quickly,  A little snake venom can render a man permanently sickly. Pretty roses too can prickle and make a person bleed, But of all these dangers it’s a childish heart you should most heed.   A childish heart wanders wildly going wherever it pleases, Its reckless antics endure pain, but its wandering never ceases. It walks on rocky ground, over broken glass and wildfire, It thinks those are...

They say that happiness is a choice  I don't recall ever saying I don't want to be happy  If happiness is a choice, doesn't that mean that depression is too?  When standing in the line, I don't remember ever saying "yeah I decided I don't wanna see the light anymore.  I want to feel like I'm walking down a dark hall for the rest of my life  I never want to know when the light will flicker back on  I never want to see a br...

Stolen kisses beneath the OakA flash of a breast in the moonlightTentative touches under the cover of darknessMuted pleasures as we veil ourselves in the forestAphrodite-like perfection masquerading as ArtemisSummer longing turns to Autumn lustWinter's icy kiss becomes the whispered vows of SpringLibation to Apollo as we unite in a field in full bloomPlaying joyful songs as my bride dances in the meadowAnd we lay beneath...

I pray I never come to believe in reincarnation, because I'd slam the restart button. But if I go, then you will follow. And then who would weep for me and who would weep for you?

She came with flowers On this lush and deep pathThere was a rain showerShe had visions of the psychopathHer sister was murdered hereHer body and soul in heavenShe still cries many tearsThere's still no confessionEvery year on this dateShe brings flowers to the spotHer death was filled with hateHer body bled a lotThe psychopath escapedFrom prison that nightHer sister was killed and rapedShe died in complete frightHer body...

thought of you today as I woke from a restless night thought of you today staring off into the sunlight thought of you today as I watched my girl play thought of you today my wish for Valentine's day thought of you today when the stars came out thought of you today I want to scream and shoutthought of you today alone and curled up in bed thought of you today of all the words left unsaid thought of you today as again the t...

Time passes like it always does. But, this time here is different. This time I am alone. Alone, I have never been this alone before. It is not that sense of loneliness one gets when surrounded by people but no one who knows you. This is the loneliness that aches to one's inner soul. The kind one feels when their heart has been ripped away by a sudden loss. The loss an orphan, a widow, or mother of a miscarried child may f...

Stars sprawl across the skyPursuing their everlasting questsHow I, too, wish to journey afarGoing window shopping for a dreamPerhaps I will be an adventurerCarving stories out of my lifeAway from this mental prisonWhere I am forced into domesticationBut maybe I want that as wellA happy wife and a homestead of my ownWhat a dream that would beShould I leave this infernal pitOr maybe I shall make myself knownFar and wide peo...

Flashbacks that consume my coreFeelings of deep sorrowThese images are filled with goreHoping I'll feel better tomorrowNobody could really ever understandThe pain that happened over thereThis was never really plannedOnly God listens to my prayersThough I feel totally insaneMedicine blurs my mindAlthough it helps numb my painMy pain causes me to feel blindMy mind goes over those daysI just cannot rest you seeSo much pain i...

When I made you look I couldn't think about your pain,But now that its my turn I can hardly bear the strain.I feel our chemistry but it was born too late,A few weeks earlier I had let her in the gate.Now that she's gone and I'm free again,I see him around and know I'm hoping in vain.I see how wrong I was for thinking you'd wait,And I feel the pain for being too late.I keep wondering if I'll ever get your attention again,O...

She stood regally for fifty plus years I am told. The last 10 years on my watch. Guarding the front southwest corner of our garage. Towering a majestic 70 feet into the air with a drip line 20 feet in all directions from the trunk. Home to many of nature's creatures. Squirrels, birds, a hawk on occasion, and two different raccoons would climb her silently at night causing my motion sensor lights to emit.  A massive 63" ci...

The first time I was 'around' death, for want of a better term, I was seven, maybe eight years old. For whatever reason I cannot recall the specific age I was or the exact time of year, all I know is that it was 2002 and it was either autumn or winter because of the series of events that led up to the deaths. If it was autumn then it was before my eighth birthday, if it was winter then it may have been after I turned eigh...