“There’s a bluebird in my heart that Wants to get out, But I’m too tough for him, I say, stay in there, I’m not going To let anyone see You” Charles Bukowski     When loneliness became a part of me In such a way that others could not see. My heart forgot to feel, it hurt so much, And locked itself up tight against a touch.   The bluebirds came to nest, they lost their way. They could no longer fly, they had to stay.   W...

So here I am limping my way into the local ER. It was a typical bar fight, and as a bouncer, I had to intercede. The antagonist decided to flee before the police arrived and I decided to chase and hold him. In the semi-darkened street I misjudged the height of the curb and stumbled, but I ignored the pain in my foot and kept moving. I caught him and walked him back to the front of the bar just as the police arrived. The s...

Pain, pain, go away,Fuck me up never a day. An hour or more is all I ask,Is that really such a task? I wear a mask of brave facedness, But inside, my lies are bare faced. Nobody sees because I hide,For what else do I do, lest I slide? So, here I go, it's a difficult time,Where is the reason, where is the rhyme?It'll fade, given time. But when in time, will my mind be mine? If my body stops its paining, My mind will stop i...

Her chances were slim, she was too fat to fit in. On a scale of 1 to 10, she was overweight. She was insecure about herself, and all her flaws, She built an emotional wall, a tower, with so many floors. Each room filled with pictures, of painful memories. Albums upon albums, she collected sad melodies. Her closet full of Skeletons, monsters under her bed. She cried to sleep, as she tried to sleep. Each new scar cutting in...

Missing you,Needing you,Wanting you,Knowing I cant have you,Which causes me to want you more,We were there for each other,Through it all,Deaths,Injuries,Tears,We had each other at our highest moments,And tried to at our lowest,We have hurt each other,In more ways than one,But because of our own needs, we keep doing it,Never giving the other the time to heal,Never thinking of ourselves,But putting ourselves first,Do we des...

Our lives were perfectWe lived a normal lifeI was happy when we metI enjoyed being your wifeWe loved each other alwaysEnjoyed living our livesEverything changed one dayThat night when we diedWe went out to an affairEverything was alrightThe evening turned to a nightmareWe were both filled with frightChaos and screams heardPeople running for coverOur minds were blurredI just held my loverShots were fired thereNobody had a...

Some days are worse than othersBut just the same, some days are better than othersAnd when there not a lot goes through my mind I feel like I'm not enough Or like what I do won't make a differenceI feel like my world falls apart and every single turn I take will be my destruction I feel And when I feel I hurtOn these days, looking in a mirror is hard On these days, loving is hard Feeling is hard Being alive is hard I push...

I was so young when I had those thoughts "I'm ugly." I looked at the stretch marks and the acne, and I wouldn't pick out one thing that I likedI saw my thighs and envied the girls with thigh gaps I saw my lips and wanted them to be fuller My hips were too wide My hands were too smallMy eyes weren't a pretty color I hated my noseMy face was way too red And I couldn't stand the way that I laughed One day I was looking in th...

The ideas are here,but so’s the pain,it’s making me feel rather wan.It’s not a perfect rhyme,but give me time.Why do poems have to rhyme?A poem doesn’t have to rhyme,just as long as it makes the readerspend time.Time is great, but waste it not. Rather, make haste, and buy a yacht.I’ve no idea where I’m going with this,my hands are fucked, my brain is worse.Why the fuck do I have this curse?!Chronic pain, illness, I can’t...

I no longer need to makemarks on meA professional who tattooshas set me freeWhen certain thoughtsreturn and intrudeback into my lifefor reasons unknownI try to quiet themappease, silence the poisonbut I am unable to stop or copeI wear a myriad of scarsSelf-inflicted not that long agoShocking and saddening myselffamily and friends at a timewhen I was so very lowThe voices had quietedover the yearsLately, so many stressesan...

Like a waterfallcrashing downa never-ending streamof tearsa hollowed chestwhere oncea heart beat stoodhangs a vacated signlove is all he soughtsomeoneto hold himtell him all will be alrighta womanof any descriptionto speak tenderwordsan angelwings so blackcold runningthrough his veins nowvoiceswhisper withinhis broken mindsuch bad wordscrimsonseeps from woundsso he canfeel againemotionsintensified to insanitydriven by act...

Like a foolI was taken in by your tendernessbelieving your sweet wordsof unforgiving liesThis jester's outfitI now wear in shamebelittled by your charmsbeaten by your evil mindTears spread like oceanswaves of emotionscrashing inside my bodymaking me think bad thingsYour words of hatredspread invisible marksupon this demonic skinI wearShaming meof the man I see in the mirrorspreading my black wingscreating a Dark Angel of...

I'm tired of being made a foolof those silent nightsmaking my mind think terrible wordsa friendship blossomingbut just like the flowers that grow with waterit all withers and dies in the endwords once spokenof opening oneself to a brave new world of someone's lifeblackened by the darkness encounteredsaying hello is hardfor someone like me to master such braverygoodbyes are bitter pills I must swallowcut the string that bi...

Friendship is like a piece of stringThere's a beginning, middle, and end to itIt starts with a smile, then loving hugs of sweet wordsSlowly drifting towards a deep sadness of goodbyesTears that fall from betrayal, or something simple like silenceForcing you to sever all ties with the otherIf only for your own sanity and well-beingTo cut the string in two, clutching one piece as a bitter memoryPushing you into that world o...

This smiling mask I wearUpon my face for you all to seeHides the anguish beneathAnd the swelling tears in my eyesWhen I look in the mirrorIt's not the one you see before youBut the real face beneathAnd that truly scares meThe harsh cold that surrounds meOf loneliness and that sense of fearFills my mind with bad thoughtsOf pain and suffering I've enduredThis path I find myself walkingDistant and cruel with each step tookTh...