“There’s a bluebird in my heart that
Wants to get out,
But I’m too tough for him,
I say, stay in there, I’m not going
To let anyone see
You”
Charles Bukowski
When loneliness became a part of me
In such a way that others could not see.
My heart forgot to feel, it hurt so much,
And locked itself up tight against a touch.
The bluebirds came to nest, they lost their way.
They could no longer fly, they had to stay.
With time I learnt to lock them up as well
To stop the pain that dwelt in every cell.
Mind spinning circles, as my soul felt gaunt,
It swept away the hopes, desires, and want.
And still, the bluebirds questioned all as one
The choices that I’d made, the said and done
I second guessed them all, decisions made,
But couldn’t change what, the game I played
My bluebirds often told me, yes, indeed
Of someone who could fill my ev’ry need
The bluebirds always wanted to be free,
And wanted to deplete the hole in me.
They spoke to me of one who’d show the way
Who’d soothe the fear and take the pain away
Who’d see what I ignored and keep at bay
The doubt he’d stay for now and ev’ry day
The first day that we met there was no fear
Excitement, nervousness, yes, that was clear
The taunting, teasing, just as in a farce
You even ticked me, you fucking arse
To fall in love, not real, upon first sight
But something clicked in me, to my delight
Now unbeknown to me, you flicked inside
What no one else had moved, what would beside
Since you had said G’day and grabbed my heart,
Together we should stay, no more apart
The fire in me has mixed with the fire in you,
And unicorns its not, more rainbows hue
So, holy fuck, the fireworks have spread
With pain inflicted and the words we’ve said
You’ve been a fucking arse, the anger came;
We are not perfect, both of us to blame
Those bluebirds yet may flutter, fly and dart
But you still dwell down deep within my heart.