Once loving words turn hateful Warmth succumbs to frigid frost The greatest joy becomes dull While tomorrow's hope is lostThis has been the life I know A truth always and constant And so my defenses grow Walls built to house a giantTo keep others protected Safe from my own inner gray And myself from future dread But there is a price to payA lover’s sensual grace A bright smile in gratitude Or merely a warm embrace All giv...

All the heartaches, the loneliness and disappointments, undeserving of love, unworthy of familyAs if my own little demon, it followed and watched, as it played havoc on those I loved, cackling in gleeThose I let see, they saw the ever haunting demon, witnessing the damage, wisely turning to fleeThe promises to be there, the talk of acceptance, and inspirational voices, all fell to the demon’s spreeThey saw what I didn’t,...

Yesterday, underneath such grey skies, a funeral and one more friend goneToday, too many quiet moments, an unasked for and unwanted lull Within, just beneath the unfeigned calm, lies what many would see as cruel This time, no more anger or sorrow, no streaming tears to hide or battle Tonight, this unsought truth may be cold, but this is what was called my cycle And now, I accept the end result, as all that’s left inside i...

It's always present, just under the surface, clawing and scratching, this sadness within It can come at any time, whether rain or shine, a voice never silenced, this sadness of mine It pushes people away, those I care for most, feeding on the carnage, this sadness in me Born from past heartaches, fed by current failures, it's grip is so strong, this sadness within

Somewhere beyond and out thereA place far better than hereWhere the only way is truthWith no room for any lieWhere eyes are always openAnd hearts never become closedA place of brightness and loveDevoid of darkness and hateSome say this is where we comeThe place where we will all goThat this cold world is our deathAnd the warmth there is our birthWhere there's no more need to fightAnd one's self can be at peaceWhere there...

The past always returnsA cycle unbrokenAnd repeating patternsLeaving behind the burnsLoves, friends and familyPeople I cannot hateDecide I'm unworthyLike some flaw within meOne too many failuresThe mistakes piling onA question that fracturesThere are no more answersThe voices speaking insideThat I cannot be lovedCold and brutal and snideAnd there's nowhere to hideThese voices cannot be mineI do have love to giveBut this v...

Somewhere in between,the useless child I was defined to be,and the man I hope to someday become,lies a path I can barely see or understandSomewhere in between,the liberation and joy at being told "I love you,"and the emptiness as another love turns to disdain,lies the key to a cycle I cannot breakSomewhere in between,the voices of friendship and compassion,and those voices turning to condemnations,lies a heart that cannot...

On nights like these,alone with only my thoughts,my past returnsI can barely keep the voices at bay,they will not be silenced,nor will they tolerate being ignored A dozen voices whispering in the night,in an unending unison of judgement,"you cannot be loved"So many chances,and an equal number of failures,the result always seems the sameEither by careless inaction,mistakes that cannot be undone,or wrong decisions made from...

A quiet day to myself, dinner alone at a table for two, days without contact with another soul I avoid stepping outside at all, until I want even base interaction, and have to force myself to be social I’ll cut myself off for today, and ignore the world outside me, only to reach out to anyone come tomorrow All this seems so normal, the result of choices I made, the consequence of mistakes one too many I recoil from a simp...

In nightly dreams,I find myself outside a house Made entirely of stained glass windows, a vision of such beauty, the play of light and colors that mesmerize Contrasting hues that fit together perfectly Every wall, each window, every door, covered in stunning glass, images that represent life, and mark memories made within My curiosity and imagination begin to work What happens in that house, behind the stained glass windo...

It's been so many years, a few joys and more tears So much I want to say, if I could find a way I'm still the boy inside, giving you that first ride The one lost in your eyes, holding you through your cries You left me so empty, and nothing can fill me So long chasing traces, wish I could trade places If I would have been more, I could have helped you soar But I only failed you, and pills became your adieu My body has gro...

Staring up into the night sky stars Little points of light, shining in the darkness Tiny and small, yet grand and majestic Too far to ever reach, too present to possibly ignore Each point completely alone, yet all interwoven in time and space Taken each or as a whole, they represent the lesson I've learned That above all else, it is all a matter of perspective

So much time has passed away, since that night so long ago I know you found your peace and way, no more pain and your end of sorrow You found a path to leave the fray, an escape I could not offer And now you ride the sunshine's ray, from star to star and dream to dream Never again to enter the gray, wherever your soul now roams Hope the words reach you as I say, that I have not forgotten So, Jessica, happy birthday, and h...

It begins as a quiet voice A silent whisper in the dark So faint and barely there Louder and louder Defeating the deafening silence Anger and sadness Despair and darkness Bending bleakness to its will All the trials and tribulations The toils and strife Piercing gloom's very veil Beyond heartache and hardship Past the pain and sorrow Basking from glorious truth Ring the bell and blare the horn Let all of Creation know Til...

This is your life, let go of strife Choose to be you, focus your view Leave yourself open, be your own beacon Embrace your light, and you'll be bright Follow your heart, make your life art Never fear a 'no,' create your own flow Chase your moments, walk with giants Take the next risk, life is too brisk Be your miracle, embrace what’s blissful Believe in love, and rise above Leave fear behind, love you will find