All the heartaches,
the loneliness and disappointments,
undeserving of love,
unworthy of family

As if my own little demon,
it followed and watched,
as it played havoc on those I loved,
cackling in glee

Those I let see,
they saw the ever haunting demon,
witnessing the damage,
wisely turning to flee

The promises to be there,
the talk of acceptance,
and inspirational voices,
all fell to the demon’s spree

They saw what I didn’t,
that there was no salvation,
the demon hovering,
they saw it clearly

All while I chased the next high or thrill,
to silence this demon,
for a moment of peace,
that is when I am free

A lifetime of pain,
wrapped in poems and nightmares,
hidden by the perfected masquerade,
always a silent plea

But the truth hurts more,
that this entire time,
the demon sitting on my shoulder,
it was always me