It's always present, just under the surface, clawing and scratching, this sadness within It can come at any time, whether rain or shine, a voice never silenced, this sadness of mine It pushes people away, those I care for most, feeding on the carnage, this sadness in me Born from past heartaches, fed by current failures, it's grip is so strong, this sadness within

Just once I would like,To hear someone say,That I am not evil,So we don't have to playThis game today.I so wish that for onceSomeone would noticeMy small smile.See the severe drop in mood,Where I was so happy.Now I just stare at the floor.I want my mind for onceTo calm down so I could think.So I can remove my headphonesAnd hear the world around me.So that I don't have to focusOn one particular thing,And finally see the wh...

It's finally time to come home No words about your day No calling on the phoneNothing to talk about or say You grab something to eatTime to watch baseballYou'll enjoy a sweet treatPhone rings customers call The life of an introvertAlways in the backgroundI of course feel hurtI pray for talking sounds Tick tock goes the clockTime to watch the news I'm always very shockedI'm always rather confused Please will you talk with...

The past always returnsA cycle unbrokenAnd repeating patternsLeaving behind the burnsLoves, friends and familyPeople I cannot hateDecide I'm unworthyLike some flaw within meOne too many failuresThe mistakes piling onA question that fracturesThere are no more answersThe voices speaking insideThat I cannot be lovedCold and brutal and snideAnd there's nowhere to hideThese voices cannot be mineI do have love to giveBut this v...

On nights like these,alone with only my thoughts,my past returnsI can barely keep the voices at bay,they will not be silenced,nor will they tolerate being ignored A dozen voices whispering in the night,in an unending unison of judgement,"you cannot be loved"So many chances,and an equal number of failures,the result always seems the sameEither by careless inaction,mistakes that cannot be undone,or wrong decisions made from...

Consumed by sadnessI pen this verseI saw your lifeCan't imagine much worse I pray for you strengthTo make your escapeSo that your sweet childrenWon't grow up this way You're not a friendBut I sympathizePlease get awayAnd rebuild your life

Ch. 3: Now and Forever, Loathing What could I do? I'm stuck here. They never left all at once! In fact, they stood right outside my door. I put my head to rest in my hands. (How long have I been here?) Even if I wanted to escape, they'd catch me before I could even open a door or window. Really though, how long has it been since I've been brought here? A loud commotion came from the other side of my door. "Starlight, don'...

It just came out of the blue With such venom and malice. The words of anger and contempt. They tore and ripped at my heart and soul. The sound of the words died, However, the effect and damage ravages on. I hide the sadness and regret. Shed many tears in silence. I will live with it and move on. I have too many other things to live for. That is life and relationships. They run hot and cold And swirl as the winds blow. The...

I've been off in a cyber world for a while, It's probably time to go back to reality. It's become a bit hostile,I'm needing more stability. Sometimes one needs to run away,To think and get their head together.Chatting away nights and days,This could never really be forever. I have opened my heart,It's really a roller coaster ride,I'm needing a fresh start,I really have too much pride. Typing thoughts to each other,Can't s...

May I sit here by your sideAnd just watch you be?May I linger for a whileEnjoying you with me? May I see you make that smileThat you used to do?  The one where you look sillyThat we named after you? May I breathe the air you breatheAs we share vintage wine?And may you tell the joke you lovedThat you told all the time? May you let the game blare onWith decibels galoreThat I’m sure the Martians cheerWhen the Bruins score? A...

Ariel’s hoofbeats poundingAlong the trail she fliesEscaping Hughes and heartbreakThe sorrow in her lifeAnd as the beast moves fasterHead down, she trusts her guideNo need to be seeingThat world go rushing byMane through fingers graspingLoins grip to the rideHolding onto sanityBy verses in her mindTogether they are movingTowards something, yet awayCreator of such beautyConquered by the pain.

Gaze into the mirror, what do you see?Be honest, what gazes back at thee? Peer deep into those beautiful eyes.They tell a story not filled with lies. Every happening in your life.Every sadness, every strife. Behind them, your existence displays.Each bad, each happy, memory plays. Stare hard, choose the next path to take.The past is gone, your heart don't forsake. Choices, we all have the right to choose.No other soul can...

A day filled with lots of pain, No call to ask how I am.This marriage is under strain,To me it's a total sham.You seem not to care,I give it my complete all.Thank God, for my emotional affair,I feel like all I do is talk to a wall. I had major work done yesterday,I asked you for a goddamn can of soup.I have an infection with major decay,You didn't jump through any hoops. Of course, I made you a nice dinner,And still asked...

I finally went to the dentist yesterday, Unfortunately, I need a lot of work. I'm loaded with lots of tooth decay,This is making me feel berserk. I've got a serious infection,I needed a tooth extraction.After his x-rays and inspection,Now I need to take action. I need six root canals,Ten crowns to be exact.This is bringing down my morale,This is the honest facts. Three bridges oh my,It's costing as much as a car.I really...

Fingertip to misted glassArcing, curving out,Then down -One sideThen the other -Tracing paths (so clear!)Through fogMeet below, a pointWhich wells, and grows,  Droplet slow, then faster falls -Weeping heartFades back to mist.