Just once I would like,
To hear someone say,
That I am not evil,
So we don't have to play
This game today.
I so wish that for once
Someone would notice
My small smile.
See the severe drop in mood,
Where I was so happy.
Now I just stare at the floor.
I want my mind for once
To calm down so I could think.
So I can remove my headphones
And hear the world around me.
So that I don't have to focus
On one particular thing,
And finally see the whole picture.
It is so rare for me to mean it
When I say that I am fine today.
Nothing is wrong,
And I am getting along
Just well without anyone.
When I am not lost in a crowd.
Where my friends don't feel
Like complete strangers to me.
So that I can stare at the sky
And smile so bright.
As if I was a younger me.
People broke my spirits,
Where I was once carefree.
To defense myself I became a persona,
Call me evil, and wicked, and mean.
It went so far that I believe it,
And I convinced almost all my friends.
So that every time they speak of me.
One of those three words is present.
This person became me,
I forgotten how to love.
This world has changed me.
Replacing flowers with a sword.
I cannot so much as to smile at a guy.
Pretending, only to keep my distance.
I will never say how I feel.
I don't know exactly how to feel,
When my mind screams at me not to.
So if I like you, my lips are sealed.
It won't be long anyways.
Until my mind convinces me,
That you're just an impossible dream.
I took so much in stride,
and I walk away from my heart.
Because without a doubt.
I was never a part of your life.