I often feel so un UnwantedUnableUndoneUnhappy It's a slippery slope UnlovedUnmotivatedUndressedUncertain The darkness is endless UntrueUnidentifiedUnbearable Uneven Sometimes I get lost in the "un" of it all

The Cubs are going to kill me. First game of the 2016 WORLD SERIES and....did they not show up? This rant may take a minute and veer off road. Just a heads up. I grew up in a state that's real big on football and basketball. Baseball? No. But Chicago's only 40 miles away. White Sox? I hate Sox. Their color doesn't matter. Chicago Cubs. Red, white and blue. That's my team. In 2007, I stopped watching baseball. All of my fa...

My daughter is in 2nd grade. Last week I received a note in a sealed envelope from her teacher. Extremely confidential. It read something like..."Your child has achieved a major accomplishment in which an award will be received at Tuesday's award ceremony. This is to be a surprise. Please do not tell your child."Wow. She's getting a major award!! I couldn't stop my mind from wondering and dreaming of what her great accomp...

Have you ever lost your mind? Lost track of time or forgotten your name? Have you ever looked in the mirror in shame? Have you ever folded and still won the game? Does anything look the same?Have you ever made promises you are happy to have kept, even though your pillow is soaked with tears wept? Have you ever wondered if it's sleep or slept? Have I? Yes. I have nothing left.My biggest fear is coming true and there is not...

I am so tiredOf tryingOf cryingOf tryingI can't anymoreNo fightingNo rightingNo fightingWhy the struggleI give upCan't do itI give up

I never know how to say My mind has gone awayTurning black from grayI hate being this wayWhispered confusionMixed within delusionAnd fearful destitutionSeeking restitutionGasping for airUnder total despairAttempting to shareBut the words are not thereFleeting thoughtsOf how we are taughtTo take another shotWhether you make it or notGive it your bestBe normal, like the restWeighing on my chestHeavily suppressedThese chains...

You don't know meAlthough you say you doYou will never understandThe things that I go throughYou don't hear meBut yet you still pretendOffering up false empathyYou pretend, just to pretendYou talk about meLike I'm not even hereThen wonder why I am angryPlease stop faking it, dear.You talk about themLike you've walked in their shoesAnd battled those inner demonsKnowing there's no win or loseYou don't hear themDespite every...

I have been challenged to write out 2 lists of things to do in 30 minutes. Two lists? Yes. I have so much shit to do, I don’t know where to start. So, I have accepted the challenge and have 19 minutes left. I quickly wrote a list of things to do around the house. Dishes Laundry Make sure the kids uniforms are ready for practice. Basic daily stuff. List one is dun. What will my second list consume of? Things I need to do a...

"Where does it hurt?"I haven't had a massage in over a year. Everything hurts. That's what I am thinking laying naked, covered with a sheet, face up, on the massage table. She is massaging my head. I have no answer. "Any particular area that has been bothering you?"She asks as her fingers massage deeply in my neck and jawline. "My back. Everywhere." And with that, the enchanting Celtic ambient music begins. And the massag...

I know I have been here before. I could never forget this place where I watched the leaves change to vibrant shades of orange and hues of green. Or maybe the green was in your eyes as I fell asleep and you tended my cries. This tiny home so far from home. We walked away, wandered and roamed. Here I am again. Right, where I began.I love this house so much. Watching the snow, feeling your touch. Dancing nude in the backyard...

I wonder if everyone feels all alone sometimes.I wonder if I'd done less drugs, would my mind be clearer? Would I have more answers and less questions?I wonder if I've completely accepted my past enough so to leave it behind.I wonder what that tarot card really means. The outcome is not one I can quite figure out.I wonder if I have any strawberry jelly because it sounds delicious right now. I wonder what the future will b...

What you are looking at, is a message stating the little rant I have written here has foul language, not suited for anyone under 18. It is also not suited for anyone who finds explicit lyrics offending. I just wanted to give everyone fair warning......thank you.I am writing a list of things that make me grrrrr. It's turning in to a novel and raising my blood pressure. Here's the thing....I choose to let these things piss...

I wonder if you see me as you walk on by. Is there anything about me that seems to catch your eye? Or your ears, can you hear my tears? I have gone so many years, living with the same fears, I wish you were near. I wish you could see me really. But you are always too busy. I wonder if you think that about me. I am too busy to stop and see the glimmer in your eye. I am not too busy, but you often turn away, acting shy. So...

It seems to be hurricane season again here in south Florida. Right. What does that mean? It means there is a chance of a hurricane sometime this year. I hate to admit it (not really) but I don't follow the weather. I just look outside. Do I need an umbrella? Yes. Every day. How does this "extreme" weather effect my work? I get wet. If things start flying about, things like potted plants and garbage cans, I stay INSIDE. It...

==========================I’m writing a bookAll about meAnd my successInside tragedyThat’s how othersPerceive my realityThey offer me pityI do not want nor needSenseless SympathyShould you choose to readDo not feel sorry for meDo not shed a tearI’m happy to be meDancing the border of insanityA door has been openedYou get what is behindI have told this storyWith tequila and limesI forgot all the detailsAdded beats and rhym...