Marvin the Maggot was a wondrous maggot, captured by aliens from Zob. They turned him into a robotic maggot, he’s now not a fat smelly slob. They returned him to Earth on a treacherous mission, to combat some dangerous pests. Bionic wasps from the planet Sting, who all wore explosive striped vests. He popped out of his apple and checked the horizon, to see if there was trouble in store. A Splat! and a Bap! The apple explo...
A group of twelve strangers, RAP, RAP at the door, disturbs my comfortable snooze on the floor. My mistress sweeps through dragging her gown, a tall pointed hat fits tight on her crown. With a rattle of broomsticks the cackling coven, place a large cauldron on top of the oven. As I peek with one eye, a three legged toad, was placed in the microwave, and made to explode. A tail of a dog and the ears of a bat, were put in t...
As I walked towards the precisely laid dining table, I encountered a young lady suffering from two painful boils that had arisen upon her buttocks…….. She smiled and served the dinner. Later I noted the two enormous melons she was carrying, wondering if these were real, with an act of pretence I slipped with my fork and stabbed one of her huge juicy fruits…they stayed in shape. Her Mother seemed unconcerned, occasionally...
Woke up this morning with back to school blues, Stared at my new uniform and black shiny shoes. Mum screaming, “Are you getting dressed?” “And it’s cold outside so put on a vest” I slouched into the kitchen holding my head, “I can’t go to school mum my heads gone all red. Maybe its typhoid, do you think I could die?” “I doubt it!” she screeched and loosened my tie. I ambled to school and kicked a few stones, Chatted to cl...
Raining stair-rods, quick watch your head, Cats and dogs, they’d end up dead. Hammering it down, that must be Thor, God of thunder bashing at my door. Big umbrellas with a pointy spike, Spear me in places that I dislike. Wellie boots and waterproof coats, Leaves float past like little boats. Rivers rising, a bursting bank, Drainage flooding smelling rank. The sun fights hard to win the day, A spear of light sneaks out to...
Ant arrived at the racetrack to watch the big race, the main event was the Grand Steeplechase. Insects were saddling their favourite steeds, they’d been training them hard, jumping ditches and reeds. The steeds were paraded before the crowd, all were cheering very loud. A swarm of wasps took to the sky, then buzzed off to bet on their chosen horsefly. The beetles arrived after playing Bingo, they put all their money on a...
Robin Good and his Merry Hen “Well I’ll be jiggered, I’ll be blown, upon my Charger all alone!” Robin Good of Beerwood Forest, had that day been to the florist. Maid Carrion his bow, his love, had slipped away with a ‘Turtle Dove’ Friar Duck, a bird of the cloth had pre-warned Robin of her wroth. “She’s not too happy Robin Good In fact she feels misunderstood; Whilst Long-Bill Scarlet played his lute, Little Ron ‘put in t...
Once upon a time a Prince so handsome, sought a Princess, and would give a Kings Ransom; For a Lady so delicate, one who would suit? One who was born and raised, via the correct royal route. He travelled the world and found many Princesses, adorned with jewellery and very fine dresses, but one who was genuine was difficult to discover, one who would forever be his Princess and lover. The Prince returned home full of gloom...
I had a pet worm that pulled out my weeds, he filled his long pockets with vegetable seeds. He’d plant them in rows and I’d water them in, then he’d slither back home to my old compost bin. He grew carrots and marrows as big as a car, I’d feed him with honey I kept in a jar. He grew a prize parsnip that won me a medal, so I bought him a bicycle but he couldn’t peddle. He said he’d rather, have some new muck, so I got him...
A little story about our cockroach friends Cor! Look at those crumbs left out for me, I’ll crawl out of this sewer and have some for tea. There’s old food galore under the cooker, I’ll take it home for the wife; she’s quite a looker. Just look on the table, no lids on those pots, If I get in that jam, you’ll come out in spots. I don’t like the daylight, nighttimes the best, when I can roam around in my pyjamas or vest. I’...
What scrumptious pears hanging over my fence, surely to pick them is not an offence; I need just six, that’s plenty to bake; Soaked in Cider…And it’s easy to make. I peeled them thinly leaving the stalks, then stood them upright, using two forks, in an old tin pot I found in my shed, after removing tin-tacks and old lumps of lead. I threw on some sugar after removing a spider; Then drunk two bottles of ‘Old English Cider’...
KRISP Magazine in the USA asked me if I could submit a poem, they asked for a poem about an interview. It has been published within the August edition..I Hope you enjoy it........ The Interview Jump out of bed, bash my head on the door, Trip over the dog asleep on the floor. Climb in the shower, wind knob to HOT, Squeeze out my ‘Shower-gel with Sweet Bergamot’ Slip on my suit, its chemical stench… just back from the clean...
Get me to the Church on time (Prompted by the Royal Marriage of Prince William to Kate Middleton) Just out from the workshop and patched up a treat, the old Rolls Royce pulled up at Kate’s feet. The bridesmaids, angelic in their fairytale dresses, tucked up Kate’s train and gathered her tresses; With great care the valet opened the door, but with great horror it fell to the floor. The brides father Michael searched de...
‘A’ is for Aphid Aaron Aphid and his brother Pete wouldn’t eat vegetables, their preference was meat Squashed hedgehog, old bones, or even a worm, the thought of fresh beans just made them squirm. Swarms of blackfly flew over their heads heading for the gardeners prize rose-beds I’m not bothered said Pete, not whilst there’s meat I cannot be asked to get up on my feet. Their Mother was livid, green leaves on the vine and...
The Boat of Sand When I was young, my Father built for me, a boat of sand, so very grand, to sail upon the sea. My sister was the cabin girl and made to swab the decks, we searched the seas for pirates to turn their boats to wrecks. Our anchor was a bucket filled with stones and sand, tossed with caution overboard, if we spotted land. Bright red spades were used for oars or cricket bats sometimes, we’d row for miles acros...
