I discovered gardening recently. Yes, I know I didn't invent sticking some seeds in the dirt and hoping it turns into something, I mean I recently discovered the hobby, which is now an obsession of mine. Growing up, my father had a vegetable patch. I remember very vividly each summer looking at the bumper crop of sweet corn, tomatoes, cabbages and herbs that had grown. Back then it hadn't interested me. I think because it...
My Mother once told me, a long time ago, that if I ate all my broccoli my hair would grow. I was not convinced; I knew it wasn't true, as I never ate my broccoli but my hair still grew. She assured me that spinach would make me grow strong. I still didn't eat it, just to prove her wrong. She said carrots would help me to see in the dark "but with a torch, I'll see better" I would remark. She'd try bribery, she'd cajole, t...
He found her in the kitchen talking to the broccoli, leaving the carrots whispering to one another. In the far corner he noticed some newly arrived brussels sprouts, huddled together, nervously watching on. He ambled over and started chatting, trying to put them at their ease. Unfortunately they had just witnessed the cauli being dropped into a pan of boiling water and were feeling distinctly nervous. They'd been brought...
I had a pet worm that pulled out my weeds, he filled his long pockets with vegetable seeds. He’d plant them in rows and I’d water them in, then he’d slither back home to my old compost bin. He grew carrots and marrows as big as a car, I’d feed him with honey I kept in a jar. He grew a prize parsnip that won me a medal, so I bought him a bicycle but he couldn’t peddle. He said he’d rather, have some new muck, so I got him...
