“Detective Boyle? The forensics team is here. They’re outside examining the scene now. Coroner is on their way.” The detective stood looking aside in the living room and nodded. “God, I hate days like this,” the officer sighed, then headed to the front door. Boyle remained unmoved, expressionless. She had long forgotten how that young officer felt. Today was just another day; the scene unextraordinary. Her partner was sti...
The phone rang as I was locking up for the night and I thought about leaving it ring. Then I thought about my bank account, went back around the desk, picked up, and said: “Conde.” An older man’s voice came on the line, dry as a desert bone. “Ah yes, Mr. Benjamin Conde of the Conde Detective Agency I presume?” “The same.” “Splendid, Mr. Conde. Splendid. Ah, yes, Mr. Conde, my name is Douglas P. Cahill III and the reason f...
Bishop’s Lounge was busy and loud and blue with smoke. I sat by myself back in a dark corner booth, contributing my share of smoke and watching Angela. She had come in with a group of work friends and they sat at one of the tables chattering and drinking wine but she seemed distracted and kept looking over at the bar. She had on a black dress to match her black bob. There was also a black wire in her black purse she didn'...
I was tailing the unfaithful husband of a neurotic client down a dark alley when someone slipped behind me and put a gun to my neck. I heard Bugsy’s voice and knew I had a problem.“Frank Danger, P.I.!” he said with a delighted baritone that rumbled like a dump truck.“Bugsy.”He laid a heavy mitt on my back and sent me staggering. Bugsy was a great guy. I thought the world of him.“Hands up!” he said, “Turn around slow.”I ca...
From The Files Of Jack And The Giant Private Investigators Case 12: Mary’s lost little lamb “Mary had a little lamb; its fleece was white as snow. And everywhere that Mary went that lamb was sure to go.” Now we've all heard this nursery rhyme before, but have you ever wondered what it all meant? I mean who was this Mary dame and what was it about her that this lamb found so infatuating? I’m Jack, Jack Vine, private eye. I...
The NeutralBy Matt Chatelain Published by Matt Chatelain Copyright 2012 by Matt Chatelain This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form...
As I walked towards the precisely laid dining table, I encountered a young lady suffering from two painful boils that had arisen upon her buttocks…….. She smiled and served the dinner. Later I noted the two enormous melons she was carrying, wondering if these were real, with an act of pretence I slipped with my fork and stabbed one of her huge juicy fruits…they stayed in shape. Her Mother seemed unconcerned, occasionally...
“Holy shit!” Mac exclaimed, his mouth hanging open. I stalked out sexily. I had practised for a few hours to try to walk in my new strappy black slutellos (my new word for slutty stilettos). I looked damned good. Sherry and I had spent two hours of shopping and bickering over everything. There had been a lot of pouting (me), a lot of tutting disapprovingly (Sherry), a few ‘I’m fucking walking here’ (me again), a big show...
There were still twenty days to go till Christmas, but everybody was celebrating. After twelve years, ten months and nineteen days, prohibition was finally over. It was good news for the drunks, but hard luck for the people who ran the speaks, the people who had kept the drunkards supplied with hooch during that long dark age. Fortunes had been made in illegal alcohol. Everything from brown plaid to coffin varnish found a...
'What did people do in the movies to lose someone following them?' I wondered. I envisioned a big car chase and a few flipped cars culminating with me half naked shooting a gun out of the window. Bloody overactive imagination! I resolved to stop watching so many cheesy action movies. I sped up a little and turned down, watching the SUV follow me in the mirror. I exited onto the motorway. I put my foot down and sped up. So...
I am dividing this into separate parts as it is quite longPresent Day: Whenever I imagined dying it was always in bed surrounded by my whole extended family (including imaginary children and grandchildren). Not getting whacked by some fat English man called Maurice in a badly fitted suit who was under the mistaken impression he was a character in a Guy Ritchie movie. I could hear my dead mother’s voice in my head berating...
