I’m not entirely sure I like you.Everything here is too bright and too dark. It’s a fucking paradox and it doesn’t make any sense.It doesn’t even make paradoxical sense.Like, why am I sitting here typing this? My hands are betraying me.The wind is harsh, yet comforting.Why’m I even drunk? Am I sober? Do I exist? Ugh, questions!Like, I could just write this out like some kinda paragraphy thing. I could write in complete se...

Twenty-Nine. I am taking myself to bed on the precipice, but you will technically arrive sometime around four in the morning. Knowing my inevitable battle with sleeplessness I’ll still be awake as you come to pass. I know, I’m still quite the “Spring Chicken”, but for the first time, I feel kind of old, and you’re honestly the first that has been unwelcome. The journey of my 29th revolution around the sun, quite frankly,...

I vigorously dislike it when you give someone advice, and they just don’t take it. You know, I gave some really good advice. I was kind about it, but it was just ignored. I can’t rant about it here without giving it away, but fucking hell, really? You know what else I dislike? Seeing computer terms mis-abbreviated. I don’t care if that’s a word, I’m using it. I saw a CD-R, and on it was printed, “700 Mb”. Really? Seven hu...

Palpable is the frustration of inability to be bothered to write. Frustration is reading that first sentence back and realising how fucking clumsy it is, though it does arguably get the point across. Satisfaction is having written a paragraph and moving on to a second one, but annoyance is not being able to think of where to take it. Soreness is the head that is scratched... Because who the fuck doesn’t scratch their head...

This third person narrative thing. I might as well give it a go. Here we go, then...Fuck that shit. You don’t realise it,But you’re illiterate.Think you’re being astute. You’re being ass toot. Wait, that wasn’t third person, was it? Let me try again...I think and then write,I write that I want you to bite,I wonder if you might...This is shite. Yeah, that wasn’t third person either. Is a third person poem even possible? I’...

This poem isn't forthcoming,Which leaves me bumming,Feeling like my head is scumming.I have a filthy head,though if I didn't, I'd be dead,My head is also red.Wait, that's blood,it's starting to flood,aw, I died, I'm a puddle of mud.From the dead,I spin this thread,While you lot scratch your head.What is this man on,Has he been smoking a bong?No, I'm like this, I'm an alien from Zong.You lot don't understand me,Just be cle...

Sometimes I look and I see people ‘In a relationship’, ‘married’, ‘betrothed’ and I wonder, will I ever be any of those?It’s unlikely that I’d be married or betrothed, in the sense of Christianity, me being a... Spiritualist? Witch? Um, I actually don’t know which religion I am. I tend to follow whichever set of beliefs ring true with me. I suppose you could call me a ‘free spirit’, or something of that ilk, but I’m just...

Feeling critical and analytical I'm not feeling political Just a little... difficult Just like this poemI have very little rhyme  and even less reason But if you'll bear with me I think you'll see That I and you Are as useful as... dog doo