Election Stories

Frank Baldwin stared out the window of his office. The lights of downtown Eversham shone before him. Usually, the mayor smiled when he looked out at those lights. A lifelong resident who had been the city’s mayor for twelve years, Frank was pleased and proud with the work he had done to improve the city. Tonight, though, he gazed out at them and sighed. It was looking like twelve years was enough for the citizens of Evers...

Excuse me, sir; I hate to intrudeBut you're out in public and your shirt's rather rudeAlthough fairly mild, as far as some go,The sentiment still dips pretty lowI mean, 'Life's a bitch - don't elect one.'Why does she deserve that, what has she done?Oh, I cannot stand her, lots of reasons whyFor one, get in her way, and you're gonna dieShe's had people murdered time and againYou don't need enemies if you count her as a fri...

Today at the Trump School of Dance we’re going to teach you Mr. Trump’s personal favorite move, The Narcissist Hustle. If you promise not to tell him I told you this, it’s actually the only step he knows—but he performs it expertly, better than anyone alive, in fact. Follow these steps precisely, and before long you’ll be doing it like a pro, too. 1. Rationalize: Dismiss and make excuses for your bad behavior. (“This was...

Pardon me, miss, have you time for a poll? No, not today. I'm out for a stroll. That's okay, ma'am, while you stroll I can poll! All right, I suppose, if you poll while I stroll... Do you plan to vote in the presidential race? Oh, yes! Not voting is a terrible disgrace! Tell me a bit as to how you'll choose— If you could, please share your views! Well— I do not like the orange man I do not like his Muslim ban I do not lik...

This is a more-or-less faithful retelling of the great, “Where Were You?” controversy that occurred back in the fall of 1951. However, due warning is hereby given that being as how the story involves Louisiana politics, no claim is made, either explicit or implied, as to whether “more” or “less” predominates. It’s no secret that politics ranks second only to football as Louisiana’s favorite sport. This was especially true...