Back by popular demand! Here are some more general open letters from my life, for you, my internet friends.Dear Hanukkah food- You are so delicious and so tasty. I'm not even 'properly' Jewish but I would convert just for the food. A Holiday where deep fried foods are eaten? Yes, please. It's not good for my waist line, but the food is just so tasty, and apparently I have weak will power. But that's what New Year's resolu...
Donald Trump and Election NightRemember, remember the eighth of November, The day America, in the foot, we shot. ‘Tis the seasonFor moving to Schweiz inA 747 if you’re distraught. _____________________________________Donald Trump, Don, what’s his aimTo be elected President using a confidence game.Be careful what you wish, you deplorable lotFor you have just elected an orange crackpot._____________________________________W...
Today at the Trump School of Dance we’re going to teach you Mr. Trump’s personal favorite move, The Narcissist Hustle. If you promise not to tell him I told you this, it’s actually the only step he knows—but he performs it expertly, better than anyone alive, in fact. Follow these steps precisely, and before long you’ll be doing it like a pro, too. 1. Rationalize: Dismiss and make excuses for your bad behavior. (“This was...
