The darkness The silence The breeze next to my ears I let go of my fears My eyes can see My eyes are a leaky sea Of salty tears Looking for a Moses, to part my sea No fish Just my fish Oh, how I can be selfish To get my wish The people I have ripped apart, my soul I've ripped apart Left with no one but myself in this damn apartment Stressed, working alone overtime in this department I cannot relate; I am not familiar Have...

Gently, I awake to the whistle of the wind. I let out a quick sigh as I lift one eyelid, then immediately close it with neglect for time. For a brief moment, my head is silent, but the next my mind is inundated with emotions and obligations and you. I pull the covers over my head, as if this simple cloak will shield my psyche from unpleasant thoughts. But alas, the unpleasantness cycles on repeat. Anger, frustration, barg...

It doesn't even matter what you say I'm emotionally and physically drained It's just another crazy dayNothing lost and nothing gained Here I am with the walls closing inNo words ever to sayLife is feeling like a tailspinYou never can meet me halfway I wish that you could seeWhat your actions do It's absolutely killing meI really don't love you You say you will try harderIt's the same old shitYou never seem to botherYou ev...

I'm feeling so much stress I need to try and relaxThere's so much to addressThese are really the factsThis is my breaking pointI'm trying not to cryTrying not to disappointI really am sad, I cannot deny I'm not even feeling goodMy knee is getting so badI feel so misunderstoodThis is making me feel mad Headaches are now backPain is all I really feelPerhaps another anxiety attackUnfortunately, this is real Can't wait for sc...

I guess it will beA waste of good moneyTo buy you those rosesThey will wither awayYou'll never come back to meSo I'll just leave themAnd I'll buy me a bottleSo the ghosts will not stayAnd maybe I'll sleepOnce that I've seen the bottomAnd just maybe those dreamsWill not haunt me tonightIf they do I'll just buy meAnother cheap whiskeyJust to help me forgetFor I'm loosing this fight

I sit here and wonder what mood you'll be in today, It's exhausting trying to figure it out.Will it be a happy day? Or will it be gray?I try to be happy and not pout.I always feel so tense and always on defense,I give all myself to you.Of course, this is just my two cents,There is always two sides, but this is my view.A relationship that blossoms and grows,I love you with all my heart.Is this enough? I don't know,Sometime...

There's a demon waiting in the darkTo drag me down the pitOf desperation and despairHe's there, I'm sure of it. He sits there, hiding out of sightBut I can feel he's near.He waits for me to drop my guard,To feed upon my fear. To feast upon that shred of hope,That she will stay with meTo eat away my will to liveAnd then extinguish me. I'll fight you off, you ugly beast,I cannot let you be,That shard of hope shall pull me t...

I wish I had a button, to stop my aching brain, Not shut down altogether, but halt to ease the pain. If I could just stop thinking, for just one single night, I might re-find the power, to climb back to the light. I wish I had a button, to silence all around, to make it all just vanish, to shut out every sound. If could just stop thinking, if only for a day, I might re-find the power, to chase the ghosts away. I wish I ha...

note: I wrote this poem when I was really down. Don't worry about me however, I didn't take that final step and I won't. You have my heart, you are my heartAll I am now is painAs if where love residedNow only knives remain When you walked out of my lifeMy life walked out as wellFor my heart has gone with youAnd left an empty shell I'll find some place to hang itA place nobody seesJust a discarded wrappingFluttering in the...

Three uses of the 'F' word Downward looking I faced the floor, I'd really had enough I couldn't take any more. Colour of my skin was "colouring" my life. I decided that day I'd take my life. Not a decision taken lightly, I'd thought on it daily, my life to take, I'll do it for my own sake.(thinks) . . . rope . . . ? Son of dubiously chaste mother. Cast-off from a foreign father.Doomed before I started- outsider looking in...

Rewind time. I climb,The tree of life,Clambering,Longing to reach the top.I keep falling,Like Alice.Can't find my footing,Like Bambi.I keep crashing to rock bottom. Photographs frozen,Still memories,Of pain,Of good times,Of bad.Almost atop,But I slip again,Becoming one with darkness.Feeling hopeless.Feeling pathetic.Unworthy of taking up space.You may not get it,But the place I am in,You aren't.It's dark.It's cold.It's lo...

Always second,Never first.Always wrong,Never right.Always sad,Never happy.Always ignored,Never acknowledged.Always pushed,Never pulled.Always heard,Never listened.Always existing,Never living.Always there,Never here.Always forgotten,Never remembered.Always second,Never first.