Mirror Mirror on the wall, oh please, oh please can I have it all? A white wedding dress, a large picket fence, two carat wedding bling, or a trip to Beijing? Ha-ha, no way, try again, thanks for playing... Mirror Mirror on the wall, oh please, oh please can I have it all? The man of my dreams, who's loyal not mean, to give me the life I always have dreamed Ha-ha, no way, try again, thanks for playing... Mirror Mirror on...
This story contains mature themes* * *The California Board of Education meeting once again ran late into the night. The stale air became stifling in the August evening, as the air conditioning units had been shut down over an hour ago. Tempers started to flare, as discussions had become as hot as the California sunshine. Arguments were heard and heard again with no end in sight. "Look," said the chairman flatly, "we have...
Warning: While supposedly humorous, this is a story about racists and includes two racial slurs. However, the “N” word does not appear in print, but it is unavoidably, in my opinion, there in spirit. -RdW- To Lamar Hardaway’s way of thinking, the three young men standing just inside the door to his cluttered work shed didn’t look good for much, most of all a Klan job. At first, they’d tried to act cocky, like this wasn’t...
From the Future This is a story about the adventures of Kara Sandborn. She was born in the 24th century, in a world very different from our times. Kara was a what we would call pretty much a genius by our standards. She had a photographic memory, and by the age of 21 had three degrees under her belt. But so far didn't know what she wanted to do with her life. Her parents were tired of her hanging around the estate, and we...
I will state one unequivocal thing about my colonic: I hated it! Please note that we have a colon used in a sentence referencing a colonic. I humbly suggest that usage like this henceforth be called a punctuation pun---just a thought that dashed through my brain. “What are other examples of punctuation puns?” you might question markedly. How about: “There is no doubt. She missed her menstrual cycle. Period.” “I hate you!”...
Jumpin' out of the shower,lookin' in the mirror I seeswhiskers not dark brown, wild hairs grow'n ears, brows n' nose.Skin not so tight neither, face withered up like a punkin that's seen to much sun and cold.Chest's not up where it ott to be, come to think, neither is his belly.Abs are not like a wash board,what the hell happened to his ass? Needin' spendr's fer holdn up his jeans.Hey! there ain't nobody here but me. Then...
Kooky quasi–serious conversations That amused look between good friends Where words aren’t needed The quirk of a brow The half grin secretly sitting on the corner of your mouth It takes one line of absurd ridiculousness Hilarity ensues chaotically The giggles becoming guffaws As tummies tighten and heave With shared laughter Tears spill out joyfully As our breathing gets harder As we can barely get out words Just a few he...
It's a dire diagnosis for our intrepid heroine... "We don't see you in here often, Maggie. What seems to be the trouble today?" "Well, doctor, its this darn apostrophe, thats how it started but things has got alot worse in the past couple days. I should of came in sooner. I know." "What exactly do you mean, 'this darn apostrophe'? I don't see any apostrophe." "Precisely my point! It went missing where I want it, than show...
We all remember high school. It was filled with fond memories of friends, first loves, teachers, bullies, jocks, cheerleaders, snobs, nerds, geeks, socialites and the rest of the students. There was one group who stood out from all the rest. This group or in some rare cases an individual was the “prankster”. The prankster was the person who teased and coaxed others to be targets of some unfortunate planned incident that w...
This unit emphasizes intuitive reasoning with fractions and proportions. It also illustrates how to perform mental computations by simplifying problems. Lastly, it explores the notions of compassion and empathy. All the characters in the story are dogs. If pictures are available of Yorkshire Terriers, Labradors, Poodles, and Pit Bulls they can be shown to children as the story’s characters are introduced. Several discussi...
I always hoped when we were wedthat our humongous water bedwould be our special place of carnal passion.There whatever we might cravewe’d do upon a gentle wavesupping on our young libidos’ ration.And so it was that we’d make loveand I’d give you a gentle shoveand watch your body rise upon the billows.After years had passed a bitwe still made love on top of itand then we would sleep soundly on our pillows.But then a lot of...
On Housework(A poetic emotive grunt.)I hate housecleaning.Doing windows is a pane.And vacuuming sucks.--------------------------------------Of Men and Wind(A portrait of a primeval relationship.)When wind roars heed it.When wind brings the rain rejoice.If wind breaks exhale.--------------------------------------The Submissive Husband(A celebration of obedience.)I am your love slaveI exist just to please you.Go clean the b...
We have all heard of Naugahyde. It was used in upholstering custom cars in the 1960’s and 1970’s. But does anyone know where it comes from? Does it come from an animal? Where does it live? What does it eat? How is it gathered? I have wondered about these things for years. After extensive research and hunting of historical and agricultural archives I think I have pieced together the ‘Life of a Nauga’ history. Back in 1930...
Christy Sparks struggled against the urge to laugh, but knew she was losing. As Brother Silas, the venerable choir director, led the assembled multitude gathered inside the Faith of Our Fathers sanctuary into another verse of what was, at best, joyful noise, she gave up trying to keep a straight face and sought to hide her big grin behind an open hymnal. It proved a futile effort at avoiding the puzzled glances of her hus...
I was hoping that my new psychiatrist could help me conquer my fear of going outdoors. I had just finished explaining my situation to him.“It really is true,” Dr. Merlin said. “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself!" “Maybe if your only problem is a weak heart!” I noted. “But I find the thought of a crocodile twisting off my privates in a pond fear inducing!”“Just avoid crocodile-infested ponds,” Dr. Merlin sugges...
