For her.. Its already been one hell of a year Filled with lost friendships and finances Broken promises And a family that just don’t care. For her… She sits alone by the phone Waiting for an important call It will forever change her life As it holds the key to her future. For her… She flicks through photos Remembering all the friends she’s made The moments of sadness and tears Mixed with silliness and pure joy. For them.....

***These are random thoughts I have while waiting for Hurricane Irma. At the time of these writings Irma's projected path shows her coming straight for me! I don't know what to do while I wait so I just keep writing***Saturday 9.9.17 10:30 pm ESTTom Petty wasn't lying!The waiting is, by far, the hardest part. It's been 24 hours since I wrote my last "entry" or whatever. About Irma. Ughhh I HATE HER! I just shouted that ou...

Thoughts fly through my head,  a million plus one because a million simply won't do. Pain, and heartache the mistakes I made yesterday a year ago, and the year before that.  Emotions become jumbled is it real, or is it my brain Is it playing tricks on me again. I react, but is my reaction true because I fear that what I think just happened didn't really Love and hate a jumbled fucking mess are these really my thoughts? I...

I move my feetThey will not obeyI'm stuck right hereWhere I will stayI make honest stridesTo leave this placeNo one sees I try,It makes my heart acheThere's a block in my mindOr somewhere in my soulKeeping me behindKeeping me from my goalI need to find a way to clearThis consuming voidBefore I no longer hearThe sound of my own voiceThis is the first I could penDown from the deepI feel slightly lighterAnd it's simpler to j...

I was awake at 4am (after dreaming of panicking), worrying about going to Painsburys for 7am (when it tends to be quiet), when it occurred to me that Stressco might already be open! It was, and so I went down there. There were lots of workers doing the online shopping rounds, but they were all polite and friendly, and got out the way if I needed things, and got on with their work as I mostly just kept to myself and avoide...

Someone, somewhere, asked, "What is anxiety to you?" These were my thoughts.To me, a small snapshot of anxiety is... Catastrophising. Conflict. Crisis. Delusion. Doubt. Fear. Insecurity. Overthinking. Paralysis. Stress. Worry. It's never been the way others seemed to describe it, and with no clear ignition... no blazing flames consuming me in an attack, I was long ignorant to my affliction. To me, it's a slow burn, and th...

Searching in the low light,Twisting on the needles,Head spinning,Tongue swelling,Hands trembling,Heart aching,Eyes all grainy sleepy andI cannot drift away.Memories melting in the shadowedCylinder of sod off,Churning in the bronzing goldAnd swirling past my nose,Faces laughing,Shoulders hunching,Fingers clawing,Legs twinging,Eyes all bleary sandyAnd I cannot switch me off.Brightening the day light,Dimming down the fairy l...

I open my eyes to the harsh sunlight, proudly beaming through my windowIt doesn't cleanse away the dread or mundane sorrowPushing greasy hair away from my faceWalk out the door, down the steps, repressing my failure to communicate From down the street, you call my name, but in my daze, it's distorted As I approach closer to you, a grin sprawls across your faceI force myself to replicate it, but I can't hide where my mind...

The night continues to falland I become one with the shadows. Struggling to stay afloat,I am stranded in this unrelenting flowwaiting for an ebb that never comes.This tide is not turning. A darkness has awakened in me. You can cut its roots at the surface,but it lives in twisted stemsand thrives in coiled tendrilsthat are anchored in inky depths.It is here that I shrivel and decay.Enshrouded by blackness - though I occasi...

I had about five minutes to think this over. Picture this: I’m sitting in the bathroom taking a dump, I have a case of diarrhea and stomach cramping due to having a stomach infection that occurred right after I returned from my trip to Mexico during spring break when I suddenly see a video shared by a Facebook friend. The title reads Things People with Anxiety Want Their Friends to Know. I can’t say I am very concentrated...

I.Depression /dəˈpreSH(ə)n/ noun A mental condition characterized by feelings of severe despondency and dejection, typically also with feelings of inadequacy and guilt, often accompanied by lack of energy and disturbance of appetite and sleep. This is just scraping the surface of depression, because there’s so much more. There always is...

When my world is darker than I can understand.When my sky turns gray with no light in sight.When nothing turns out the way, I've planned.When I can’t sleep at all, through the lonely night.I turn to you like a flower bends toward the sun.You can turn me around when I’m upside down.I turn to you ‘cause you’re the only one.When I need inspiration, when I need advice.When my insides are wracked with anxiety.You lift my spiri...

"Help is on the way... but it never came!" - Help Is On The Way by Rise Against.  It began as a trickle,a wee stream,but it's growingnow the river looks more like a lakeand the lake likean ocean. and you standon the shoreawaiting helpthat never comes. [drowning in depression] And it began as a word,a wee breath,but they want morenow the breathfeels more like a gaspand the word likea mistake. and you standin your boxawaiti...

"2am and I'm still awake, writing a song. If I get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to." -Anna Nalick, Just Breathe. They say I'm out of my head, but oh how they are wrong. I'm so stuck inside my head, over-thinking and over-anxious and over-exaggerating every emotion until I've over done myself and I fry my emotions and then I'm numb for the first time in months of TOO MUC...

They sidestepped down the aisle of row C. She began to think of space invaders and the two-tone beat of the music. She smiled as she caught the sound of Christmas music, and a loop of chattering people, a party maybe? Laying down the frame for the play?They settled into their seats, three rows back. One of her two sons hung his coat on the back of the chair in front of him. She asked him if this was a good idea? What if s...