cantankerous - we cannot drop our anchor anyplace. alternate - do plastic surgery on Nathan’s face. bargain - to totally ban the making of a profit. rufie - one who likes to hang around a soffit. implacable - -cannot be bronzed or shown inside a frame. ameliorate - to talk about Amelia Earhart’s fame. universe - a to-the-point single stanza poem. bookish - looking like a novel or a tome. doughboy - when a deer gives birth...

You must believe me when I say I love you. There has to be a way to make you see. Whatever change I must make I will do it. I pray that you will listen to my plea. Do you want me to become much thinner? To lose my flab and get a firm six-pack? I will starve and run ten miles each morning. Then do ten thousand crunches on my back! Do you dislike my big round head’s baldness? Rather I had thick or curly hair? I shall start...

Okay, so I’m not Ogden Nash and most of what I write is trash and it won’t change the world or make folks cry. Okay, I’m also not James Joyce and lack an artist’s subtle voice regardless of how much I strain and try. What am I supposed to do if my whole life is mundane goo devoid of pain and struggle and great sorrow? What am I supposed to say if I just have fun every day and yesterday will be just like tomorrow? I do not...

I beg of you don’t be depressed, or become totally obsessed, with what you see as your emotional strife. I know you are consumed with pain, wondering if once again, you’ve made a bad mistake about your life. For you have said you love me so, and never want to see me go, because I fill a void in your sweet soul. And now you see me build a wall, and not acknowledge you at all, as if I did not care about your role. So there...

The teacher gave a frightened look as she stared at my coloring book. But I knew I did the best I could. I tried to pass my spelling test but I was slower than the rest. Yet I knew I did the best I could.In gym I could not climb the rope. The coach said that there was no hope. Still I knew I did the best I could. I got my high school degree. It took ten tutors helping me. But I knew I did the best I could. Some self-doubt...

I look around my messy place and feel the flushing in my face because my home is in an unkempt state. I try to find some peace upstairs ignoring carpet stains and tears and seek a place to chill and meditate. But when I reach the bedroom door my underwear is on the floor. This makes it hard for me to just chill out. So I head to take a shower but then see that I did not scour the bathtub or the dark and mildewed grout. I...

A friend of mine that’s oft described as strange and a bit droll, shared with me this tale about the Devil and his soul. He said Satan appeared one day and looked him in the eye, and said “Do what I now demand, or tomorrow you will die! I will take your soul and cut your miserable life in half, unless you can now find a way to make me smile and laugh!” My friend wanted to verify what he thought he had heard. He asked Sata...

After fall then comes the snow when some plants die and some kids grow as all the many cycles run their course. One war is won another lost and either way there is great cost. The pious pray and sinners feel remorse. Some lovers kiss while others fight and claim they are not treated right. One walks in another out the door. Victors laugh and losers cry and babies scream and old folks die and mourners weep for those they d...

On Anticipating Chewing Gum I want to taste you. I want you to make me moist. My mouth awaits you. On Enjoying Chewing Gum You pass through my lips. My tongue caresses your form. I taste your sweet juice. On the Dénouement Squishy, flat, and soft. You satisfy no longer. Your essence is drained. On Swallowing Chewing Gum I swallow you whole. You slide into my smooth throat. Thick, wet, and sticky.

Younger couples twist and turn to try exotic positions. Senior couples try but then wind up at their physicians. Soft young kisses in the morning lead to passionate shrieking. Seniors’ kiss when they wake-up to celebrate no leaking. Visions of a young mate’s body start libidinal fires! Seeing seniors’ bodies invokes visions of spare tires. Younger couples shower and oil to do things that are kinky! It is hard for seniors...

Some claim after our final breath a soul survives the body’s death and some kind of an afterlife begins. Other’s say that when we die and utter our last earthly cry we’re dust and just wind up in garbage bins! I think it may well be the case that when we leave the human race the details of departure are what matter. For one can leave the mortal plane in total peace or with great pain, silently or with a bang or splatter....

Thank you for your thoughts and votes encouragement and cheery notes. I hope some did get chuckles from my story. It’s nice to get a little fame from dabbling in the writing game. A fleeting touch of literary glory. But also I’m compelled to say I could not celebrate this day without work done by all the web site folk. Thank you. Without this marvelous host I could not even do this post. (And without the seventy-five buck...

© 2011, Lee Goldberg It’s often said before the dawn that darkness reigns and hope is gone. Right now I know that’s the way you feel. But dawn will come. You’ll see the sun. One day your struggle will be done. And you will be quite different when you heal. Simple things will bring great joys, the sky, a breeze, a child’s new toys, a lovely flower or a pretty dress. A favorite song, a warm embrace, a cozy crackling firepla...

An irritating thing in life that really gets me pissed, is searching for the one damn sock that invariably gets missed. I take great care to fill my washer with sock pairs that match. But somehow one sock disappears when I open my dryer latch! I wind up with the one odd guy that goes to a special drawer. And after every dryer load that drawer gets filled up more. Is there some other-worldly place to which bold socks can f...

“You’re asking me how it’s going?” I said incredulously. “How can you ask me that? I’m paralyzed and I’m dying, for god’s sake!” “Well you don’t have to be sarcastic!” came the response. “And besides, you’re not dead…..yet. By the way, my name is Waldo. Nice to meet you.” Waldo flew over my head singing ‘Getting to know you…..getting to know all about you…..’ I learned later that he often did things like that; he had been...