Little kitten, you never learned to meow properly in the short time we had you. You made weird, half-assed cat noises, now it is very, very quiet at meal times. I will miss coming home to find you sleeping on the end of my bed, or sometimes to find your poo on my bedroom floor. I will miss how easily wound up you were, and the scratches you gave me from constantly messing with you. I will miss your occasional angsty behav...

Hello, hoomans of the interwebz, my name is Rudolph Valentino, but I just get called Tino for short. Other names of mine are little shit or Turd-meister because instead of doing my business outside in the dirt, I choose to go indoors. I especially like to go into the bedrooms of my hoomans, burrow under their sleeping areas and go there. I do not tell them I have done this, instead, I wait for a while and let them find it...

"My Uncle Patrick is in Canada," one young boy announced to me on Friday. I was on outside duty that afternoon and it was rather quiet, so I was standing on one of the boxes that the kids can climb up and then slide down, blowing bubbles for the few interested children. It was mostly the 2 and 3-year-olds that cared, while some of the older children, especially the boys, shrugged and ran off to find something else to do....

Stolen kisses beneath the OakA flash of a breast in the moonlightTentative touches under the cover of darknessMuted pleasures as we veil ourselves in the forestAphrodite-like perfection masquerading as ArtemisSummer longing turns to Autumn lustWinter's icy kiss becomes the whispered vows of SpringLibation to Apollo as we unite in a field in full bloomPlaying joyful songs as my bride dances in the meadowAnd we lay beneath...

I don't know if it's the children I work with or just children in general, but some of them are obsessed with the human anatomy. Whether it's the questions I have documented in my other stories, or pointing to certain body parts and using them as weapons, I feel like my stories these days are mostly about the human body from a child's perspective.  One little boy refers to me as 'boobies'. On the odd occasion he will use...

I discovered gardening recently. Yes, I know I didn't invent sticking some seeds in the dirt and hoping it turns into something, I mean I recently discovered the hobby, which is now an obsession of mine. Growing up, my father had a vegetable patch. I remember very vividly each summer looking at the bumper crop of sweet corn, tomatoes, cabbages and herbs that had grown. Back then it hadn't interested me. I think because it...

"Boom!," I hear a little voice coming from the bathroom. "BOOM!" I hear again, this time louder, and then there is the unmistakable sound of laughter. Children just love playing in the bathroom, running all the taps in the basin or filling the basin with paper towels to overflow them and create 'baths,' or making a mountain of bubbles with the foamy soap. I prepare myself for the worst as I go to the bathroom, expecting a...

Sitting down with a group of children in the shade, on a very hot day, I was reading a story with them about farm animals. After the story was finished we played the "what sound does this animal make?" game. We went through the usual the dog goes woof; the cat goes meow, the sheep goes baa when I asked them what sound does a cow make. All the children make very loud mooing noises, and then we laugh at how funny and silly...

Back by popular demand! Here are some more general open letters from my life, for you, my internet friends.Dear Hanukkah food- You are so delicious and so tasty. I'm not even 'properly' Jewish but I would convert just for the food. A Holiday where deep fried foods are eaten? Yes, please. It's not good for my waist line, but the food is just so tasty, and apparently I have weak will power. But that's what New Year's resolu...

The murdered housekeeper and the missing wife“So I ran your victim’s identification and cards through the system, and I found some interesting things,” said Alec, who was the resident tech genius of the Spring View Police Force. He had seen  some  action in his short time on the force, but even he agreed that he was more of a hindrance than a help when out on the case. He much preferred to stay inside and toil away in the...

The Body“Keep it together, newbie,” hissed Todd Fletcher, staring at her with his steely gray gaze, telling her to hold it together and not to let the other officers see the horror or repulsion she felt at that moment as she looked over the body. Swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat, Imogen took a deep breath and tried to remain as calm as possible. This was her first proper case, and she didn’t want anyone t...

Children are very curious and inquisitive, so naturally, questions about bodies and body parts are going to come up in my job. How one handles it, is key. Of course, there is that classic childhood game of 'Show me yours, and I'll show you mine.' I figured out early on that if you overreact to children playing that game, then they're going to try and hide and play it more often because they know they're not supposed to. S...

My last story that I published on this site was deep and dark and very real life, so I thought I would lighten the mood a little this week and have a bit of fun with this story. I mentioned in one of my other stories, that American influences are gaining popularity here in New Zealand, and that I had a few questions so here we go. Some questions and maybe a rant or two, about the growing American cultural influence in NZ....

The first time I was 'around' death, for want of a better term, I was seven, maybe eight years old. For whatever reason I cannot recall the specific age I was or the exact time of year, all I know is that it was 2002 and it was either autumn or winter because of the series of events that led up to the deaths. If it was autumn then it was before my eighth birthday, if it was winter then it may have been after I turned eigh...

One of the funniest, yet simplest things I have ever seen since working with children happened on Thursday and even now, just thinking and writing about it, I have the giggles again. We have a 'family play' area set up for the children. They have a little seating area, a round table, two small cots and a small bed for the dolls or some of the smaller children, though they are bigger than the dolls and my fear is the wood...