Tears trickle down her cheeks, her face to the wall, curled in the corner of her bed. She'd said goodnight, not because she was tired, but because she had to think. Leukemia... acute myeloid leukemia... cancer of the blood... treatment... chemotherapy... She was twelve, she wasn't ready to die. She wanted to be a teacher, she wanted to graduate high school and go to college and be a teacher- a music teacher to show childr...

The drums beating at my brain like rain onto a window, soft yet stabbing into the silence of these 3 rooms. One, a mall filled with clown faces, false expressions of undying love and the bogus perkiness  to be compared with that of a young pup. Two, a room of eccentricies and sunshine brightness. the innocence of a newborn child, in the arms of her mother with the bliss-filled eyes and haggard expression. the shadows behi...

"Hold on little girl, the end is soon to come... Sick of it all! Sick of it all! They don't understand how sick we are! Sick we are! Of this bottomless pit of lies, behind closed eyes..." -Evanescence, Sick.Philena: You step over me, You shove past me, Like I'm a ball- to be picked up and thrown- Or a door- to be pushed out of your way. I don't deserve this abuse. Raven: These nightmares, That face, The hands that grab me...

Maybe you don't know what you're doing to me, maybe you don't realize because of all the alcohol and drugs and the sensations you get from doing something so wrong- so twisted. Maybe Mom wouldn't care if she knew, maybe you should try while she's home and awake and see if she gives a fuck. Have fun with that, underneath all the cigarette smoke and various powders, she cares you son of a bitch. I have to hope for that beca...

Oh just let me be the black hole, Suck up all your happiness And teasing words, Spit them back out as a  bitter apology, a worthless, desperate cry of help... Stars die and plants shrivel, and as far as your smiles go, they're just depressing reminders  of how far I've got to go.

She rides down the street on her bike, an average pace set to get to the Bed & Breakfast by nine, but not too fast to wear herself out too much. This was, after all, her last mile of twenty-five that day. Her ears pick up on a sound to her back and she looks into her bike's rear view mirror to see a dark figure following her, matching her pace. Instead of speeding up and giving away that she knows he's there, she continue...

She sits down at the table, Wants to push all the food away, Maybe garbage it, Her stomach growls, hungry for more, But it turns too. She feels so sick at the prospect of eating, And she doesn’t even have an issue, It just pops up, like she needs any more randomness In her jumbled up, mixed up, screwed up life. But she deals, she eats and talks and plays okay. She feels bad afterward, like maybe she should… Purge, but the...

“Every day is so wonderful, and suddenly, it’s hard to breathe, Now and then I get insecure from all the pain, feel so ashamed.” -Christina Aguilera, Beautiful. Imagine if you will, A paddleboat, In a vast, deep blue ocean. You can’t see land on either side, It seems as if you fell off the edge of the Earth. Right now, I’m on that paddleboat. Some days, I stay on it, Some days, I float in the ocean, And some… Some I will...

Her heart flutters in her chest- this year she wasn't there, this year Adam was here. This year would be different- would be happier. He had something planned- she didn't know what, but the way he was it was something romantic. She walks to her locker to find it open with flowers- five white roses, her favorites, and one red one at the center- a heart-shaped box of chocolates, and an Adam standing next to it, smiling and...

Maybe I can't tell you what's bugging me, Maybe I can't describe it, Maybe I'm bad with words and can't tell you, Maybe you just have to wait and see. Was up 'til two last night-- Certainly, I was tired way before then, but that doesn't matter when emotions overtake, running through you like an electric current-- curling you in on yourself, until there's no more curling to do. Maybe I want help, Maybe I'm begging for it.....

Gather the ephemera Piece them together, What do you see? Glean the shards, Glue them, Can you see the real me?

Would you believe me? Would you believe me if I said, Young me-- oh so very young me, Loved you? You were my closest friend, All of elementary school, Helped me with fears of heights And the shit that was gym, Though you probably don't remember any of that. Do you? If you do, You should tell me, Or should have, Too late, now, for that. Middle school was living hell, you know? You weren't there!  Friends are supposed to be...

You remember the phone calls, All those late nights, (for you, not me) I wrote all those poems, You, all those comments. It wasn't a long relationship, Not by adult standards, We lasted a year, long distance, coast to coast, Washington to Virginia, But it felt like forever-- No, not the first few months, That was Heaven, I was so giggly and happiness bubbled, But reality hit And when reality hits, it hits hard, We lasted...

I know the ways, Of these rainy days, And I realize what the clouds like to say But I promise you, Those clouds will go away, And you'll have happy days. ***So I don't rhyme well, and this poem's not that long, but I hope I cheered you up some, with this short semi-song***

When I was younger, my family and I would go camping almost every year- and I don't mean just me, my brother and my parents either. We brought two of my four cousins along with us when they could make it over from Wyoming. One year, we took a different vehicle than every other time, so we didn't have room for my eldest cousin in any of the seats. He ended up in the trunk. At first, he was quite okay with it, nice and comf...