Twelve years. I count myself rather lucky to have found you to have chosen you to have been chosen by you to watch you grow and live. twelve years of headbutts and three a.m. zoomies and little paw pats for attention. Twelve years of watching the "ghost flies" and love nips and not playing with your toys but loving shiny chains. Twelve years of tuna water but never tuna fish and egg yolk off my fingers and sandpaper kisse...

New budding flowers are poking through the earth Cottonwoods are irritating my allergies The sky is a brilliant, bright blue Fluffy white clouds Warm sunlight on a glistening river Summer just around the corner. An awards show and pictures and proud smiles and excitement - Summer break just around the corner. Laughter turned to terror As the gunman came around the corner.

Labels. There are so many labels now. And it's confusing And scary And amazing Because I finally know where I fit These didn't exist when we were all finding ourselves Though I paused finding myself to hide myself in the identities of others. We, not me. I'm still finding me But I know pieces I am a business owner I am a writer I am a line cook I am a bookworm I am she/they I'm somewhere in the Rainbow Club I want to shou...

It seemsmy whole life has beena series of “I love you”sthat I’m not sure were truewith people whom I stuck toas if their love were the gluethat’d keep me from shattering into more than twopieces piecesof anxiety and depressionof panic attacks and loneliness of who am I and what do I like? andI see nowI can beme not we and it’s okayto not befor everyoneandjust befor meand still be learningwho me is because I have foreverto...

The skunky but delicious smoke fills this little corner of campus, exiting my lungs only once it's done its job. I feel the calming weight fall over my anxious brain almost immediately and glance down at the tiny joint in my hands, surprised by its secret potency.  "Miss Xanderson!" I grab one more big hit before stomping the lovely little thing beneath the heel of my combat boot and turning to face our principal, inwardl...

ScootOr you'll get the bootOr maybe the knifeOr maybe the noosePerhaps we'll just cut out your lifeOr throw you off the cabooseSome people take forever to decideBetween all the choices we give themSo by the time they choose, they've diedAnd we've turned their skin into an item...Tick tockWatch the clockWhat will you doNow that we've caught you?Call us crazy,Call us gone,But one thing's for certain -We've all the time in f...

hello from withoutplease don't poutwe'll be there soon we're just past the big spoonflying through ashthrowing a big ole bashand hoping he won't lash -out. his green eyesfail to see the points to my storyand all my lies  arefarfrominnocent I'm far from aliveas I cross this universeof pain and tersewords. 

Drip drop plop Raindrops on the rooftop Drip Drip Drop I just wanna flop Right into bed Cover up my head Close my ears to the things you said Somebody take my fears- Put them in a box…   X...x...x... Metal on metal Wait for the knives to settle And the water to boil in the kettle Don't get caught by the nettle   Whoosh… Wind rushing through the bush My nerves have gone to mush Someone please push Me over the edge Don't te...

“Somebody!” “Please!” “Please, somebody!” The screams fill my ears as I watch the news video play out. The gunshots punctuate every cry with a hollow shout. My heart beats like a hummingbird’s wings with the knowledge that if we do not fix this - if this just keeps going and we don't change something in our system - my nieces could have to worry about this when they go to school. When I was in elementary school, the most...

"Help is on the way... but it never came!" - Help Is On The Way by Rise Against.  It began as a trickle,a wee stream,but it's growingnow the river looks more like a lakeand the lake likean ocean. and you standon the shoreawaiting helpthat never comes. [drowning in depression] And it began as a word,a wee breath,but they want morenow the breathfeels more like a gaspand the word likea mistake. and you standin your boxawaiti...

"2am and I'm still awake, writing a song. If I get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to." -Anna Nalick, Just Breathe. They say I'm out of my head, but oh how they are wrong. I'm so stuck inside my head, over-thinking and over-anxious and over-exaggerating every emotion until I've over done myself and I fry my emotions and then I'm numb for the first time in months of TOO MUC...

"Mayday! Mayday! The ship is slowly sinking They think I'm crazy but they don't know the feeling." -My Demons, Starset. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I don't know if I can do it. I work at Walmart- you don't understand. It's their biggest sale night and everyone mobs there to get the best deals of the year. It's worse than Black Friday. Actually, Black Friday at Walmart was dead last year, but on Thanksgiving you can't mov...

"Hello! How are you?" She says it enthusiastically, speaking to the customer placing their items on the belt, smiling a friendly smile and trying desperately to focus only on that one person and not on the line building behind them. The items finally reach her and she signs on to the register in front of her and begins scanning and bagging. Scan. Bag. Scan. Bag. Repeat. "I'm okay. How are you?" She stumbles in her scannin...

It starts with a doctor's appointment- nothing bizarre, just something routine.    And then they walk in  and there's this look and you know, you know something is wrong.   It begins with another doctor's appointment- something odd, a new routine. And you close your eyes and you wake up and you live, you live, because you're going to die.   And you find a smile spreads like a disease- if you smile, they smile. And if you...

We're reading To Kill A Mockingbird in class and I've been called on to read and while I can read it aloud perfectly fine all by myself in my room, I bite my lip. I pause and I swallow a couple times and my hands get all hot and sweaty. My nickname Streetlight comes in handy here and my cheeks flush bright red and my breath comes a lot less easily. I put it off for as long as I can, but I start reading before my teacher t...