I am not who most think I am and I am not a traitor to those and those things I believe in, and I know there are worse things than death and carry my mistakes as I try to hide all of my regrets. I have dropped my guard rarely, and it is time to make peace with that one essential truth feeling now a days as if I am on the run. These might be the thoughts you and I both have that may be the thoughts torturing us through our...

The streets are getting’ empty, and I’m keeping a low profile as I head on down the line, out here on the fringes of the night as the last midnight train pulls out and won’t be back. Finding myself thinking of when I was in that North Country where the lakes and streams ran so free, and of those few friends I have had that were like good old bricks and stood the kicks, and never fretted, kvetched, or whined with the passa...

Shadows are beginning to fall, and I have been sitting here all day, and it all has me wonderin’ if the faithful be rewarded or will they be passed by and end up in the pitching queues for the gallows yelling and singing praise for the hallowed? Still, though there is nothing really left to fear voices can be heard at times, and has me wondering if it is from someone I have let down in some way or have just left behind. C...

Following these old railroad tracks and hearing thunder rolling out on the horizon, and it sounds like heavy guns that if caught by could tear me apart instead of having me standing here thunderstruck. Wondering what I can do and if I would have some help from you? Knowing there is no turning back even after having seemed to be caught out here in the open, as my mind raced wondering if I should push the limits, and play a...

Closing these tired eyes of mine and feeling my mind slip back to the days when I seemed to come up with fire in my eyes when promises were broken, and the seasons passed by like the shadows of clouds passed across the face of the mountains. Once it seemed enough to see the sun in the winter when standing out in the sand hills, back when it seemed as if everything mattered and had some sort of importance. Instead of seein...

All around me are the views of familiar faces that seem to be going nowhere, and has me recalling the familiar places I left behind as tears seem to be a way to fill their glasses as they sit in the Old Man’s Bars and wait for the day they die the slow death they have chosen. Looking right through most of them and being very easy to file them in a convenient drawer much like an old library card catalogue. Now it seems as...

Standing here in the courtyard and leaning against the wall wondering why I have been directed to be here at this moment, and instead I know I should be heading out and keep on keeping on down the line. I know that there is one out there who will haunt me along with those secret souvenirs shared, and those are some of the thoughts that keep me warm at night along with the symmetry and shadows that make up the picture I ca...

Sitting here after getting off of a call with an old friend who can be rightly labeled as the person who saved my life roughly thirty-three years ago. As I am still calling in order to touch base and I know he is still on my side through all and the aftermath we have both been through, and there are times when it seems as there is nothing left at all I know he is still there. Making me realize that I need to keep in touch...

Having heard some people say that some prayers are never heard or answered, along with some wars never ending and some wounds never healing. I know that I won’t grow old gracefully, as well as knowing I won’t go easily and will probably be found in the dust somewhere near the road I was following. After having been a rebel or an individual for most of my life, and usually having been outnumbered by those who have conforme...

There are times when it seems I just can’t understand some things that just might be so clear, and yes, I am guilty of being hard on myself just like many others are on themselves. Still, there might be a last time that might be drawing clear with the second hand catching as it always does. Yet, so much has been wrong and it is doubtful if it can ever be put to right, just like hearing familiar voices on the wind which ha...

Sitting here and hoping I can find assurance that my doubts will finally leave with the first step being the one that’s believed in. I don’t know if I am heading down or falling from grace, and feeling those warm winds blowing here under those hard-blue skies and wondering if I am heading into the calm of an eye of a storm? Still there is no other place than I think I would rather be, though I might have doubts to where I...

Thunder echoing across these high desert plains, and the smell of rain in the air as my mind races as to what options I should be taking if the storm should head this way and unleash its fury as it breaks. Thinking back for some unknown reasons as to what we once did in the name of fun, and looking back has me wondering why we aren’t all dead or at least having been hurt badly. All of this coming on the realization of my...

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned, and I am not sure where I should begin, as I ask those questions about the faithful being rewarded and will I miss the final call or warning for having lived this lie of a life? I can only name where I have been, and I know that I have been there and back again, as I ask that you stay inside the confessional until you hear me leave. While the darkness begins to fall like waves that cra...

Thunder echoing across these high desert plains, and the smell of rain in the air as my mind races as to what options I should be taking if the storm should head this way and unleash its fury as it breaks. Thinking back for some unknown reasons as to what we once did in the name of fun, and looking back has me wondering why we aren’t all dead or at least having been hurt badly. All of this coming on the realization of my...

Having it seem to be that I am caught off guard and not really prepared for the rest, and have the feeling that some prayers never reach the sky and I guess the same can be said about some wounds never healing as well as there being some wars that never end and continue to rage and sting. I have been a rebel for most of my days, and have always strived to be an individual, and not go along with the pack. As well as being...