She shakes, blade to her wrist, tears in her eyes, heart on the floor, stomped on like a doormat, flattened and frail, hidden from view, so as not to be hurt. The blood drips to the floor to the towel laid down. She shakes, She falls, She escapes, but in the end she is still cold.
She sits down at the table, Wants to push all the food away, Maybe garbage it, Her stomach growls, hungry for more, But it turns too. She feels so sick at the prospect of eating, And she doesn’t even have an issue, It just pops up, like she needs any more randomness In her jumbled up, mixed up, screwed up life. But she deals, she eats and talks and plays okay. She feels bad afterward, like maybe she should… Purge, but the...
Her heart flutters in her chest- this year she wasn't there, this year Adam was here. This year would be different- would be happier. He had something planned- she didn't know what, but the way he was it was something romantic. She walks to her locker to find it open with flowers- five white roses, her favorites, and one red one at the center- a heart-shaped box of chocolates, and an Adam standing next to it, smiling and...
Maybe I can't tell you what's bugging me, Maybe I can't describe it, Maybe I'm bad with words and can't tell you, Maybe you just have to wait and see. Was up 'til two last night-- Certainly, I was tired way before then, but that doesn't matter when emotions overtake, running through you like an electric current-- curling you in on yourself, until there's no more curling to do. Maybe I want help, Maybe I'm begging for it.....
When I was younger, my family and I would go camping almost every year- and I don't mean just me, my brother and my parents either. We brought two of my four cousins along with us when they could make it over from Wyoming. One year, we took a different vehicle than every other time, so we didn't have room for my eldest cousin in any of the seats. He ended up in the trunk. At first, he was quite okay with it, nice and comf...
"Sit and listen,Sit and listen..." That's all I'll do, I'll sit here, in this seat, Listen to you drone on and on. No, I don't mind, but when you ask me if I'm okay, and I say yes, Can you ask again? Maybe then I'll tell you the truth. "Look right through me,Look right through me..." I'll stand, present this to you, tell you the basics of myself, you won't ask for any more. But if you did, would I tell you more? Maybe. Bu...
too many the number of times she ignores it every day 800 the approx number of calories consumed per day 200 not quite the exact number of scars within the past few years 125 the number on the scale 65.5 my height in inches 50 the minimum number of mean jokes and insults I hear at school per day 35 minutes at lunch I spend in the bathroom stall 17 the number of times I think of ending it per day 10 minutes after school be...
"You won't cry for my absence I know, you forgot me long ago. Am I that unimportant? Am I so insignificant? Isn't something missing?" "Isn't someone missing me?" He chuckles at the young girl's silly question, "You think someone's missing you ? You pathetic, weak, ugly little girl? Don't hope for that! Hope I'll let you live." The girl whimpers in fear and looks down at herself. How fat and disgusting she was! Why, she'd...
"...What I do know is how it changed my life foreverI know I should know better..." Look. Listen to me, Just for a moment? Just for a minute, please. Okay... I haven't gone through this, not to a high extent, because I had people there that stopped me. I know a lot of you don't, but listen, okay? Listen to these words alone, Don't listen to your brains, Don't listen to the bullies or the mean girls, Or any other stupid pe...
She sits at the table with her friends, No lunch in hand, Said she had no money, Honestly, she's just not hungry. She smells the fumes from the greasy food, Sees it drip onto the plate, Stomach turns and she feels sick, Runs to the bathroom and feels herself deflate. She can't eat, she just can't. They don't understand, If she does she gets sick, Her stomach hurts, she feels guilty and just...ick. Please don't look at her...
I hate this,I hate how I look.Look at how fat I am,How ugly. How could anybody like me? "Did you see her? "She's so beautiful !" "She's so skinny !" "Damnit, why can't I look like that?" See? Look at them stare.I'm a fat ugly pig.Need to eat less, less, less . Be pretty.Be skinny. "Are you eating enough, sweetie?" "Are you okay?" "You're so beautiful, but you're so skinny!" "Darling, tell me what's wrong." No! No, I'm fin...
About 2 months after getting away... I didn't mean to do it, I swear. I swear I didn't. The car came out of nowhere and... and I... I couldn't move fast enough... and... please don't hurt me. "Why would I hurt you? It wasn't your fault, I'm just glad you're okay." Arms around me, pulling me close to him. It's still all new, Adam, completely new. ...if I was still there... "But you aren't. And he won't ever touch you again...
Can you, can you See through my disguise? Will you, will you See me in my eyes? Can I, can I Hide my true self? Will I, will I Put my heart up on the shelf? This is a mask that you see, I doubt you could take the real me. Would you, would you Still want to be around me? Could you, could you Just stay by me? Should I, should I Speak up, speak out? Could I, could I... Ask you to just hold me? [I'm sorry]
