I fucking hate you! How fucking dare you bring out something in me that I've never ever felt. I've never allowed myself to feel it and yet you make me feel it. Why? No fucking idea. You cow, stop sending me letters, stop interacting with me, I don't want to know you. I'm done with bitches like you, I'm done having my heart ripped out and stomped on. I'm done being told that I'm "clingy". What worse thing could you say? Nothing.

How fucking dare you bring out jealousy in me? No, I don’t want to feel it. It’s a bad, stupid, useless emotion.

Before meeting you, I was emotionally stable, described as “a rock” by friends and family. Now? Fucking flaky bastard. By the way, I’m being politically correct, I am a bastard, born of wedlock. Let’s not forget that this is a rant, it will be littered with curses, will be full of nastiness and is actually aimed at someone, who, thankfully, will never see it.

I hate you. I really hate you. You, for a while, were the best thing that happened to me. You made me happy. Now, you make me hate, you make me jealous, you make me feel all the negative emotions that I never ever wanted to feel.

Maybe it’s because it’s been an emotional year for me. Maybe my emotions are more bare, more stripped, maybe you were required to help me grow as a person. I don’t fucking know. I hate you, anyway.

You know how many times I’ve cried this year? Too many to count. Yes, a friend died and it was a really horrible experience. My friends, those with a heart, helped me through it, if they’re reading this, they know exactly who they are. I love them for that and so much more. You? You fucking bitch sidestepped the issue. I felt closest to you and you sidestepped it. You wanted me to give you pleasure. I did it, yes I did. Did you ever think of me? Did you ever care for me? Did you? DID YOU? I cared for you, but I should have just saved my love for someone deserving of it.

You blocked me. You blocked me and deleted me. I blocked you. Months of nothing happened, I slipped into a depressive state and then, again, with the help of my real friends, got better. With the help of my REAL friends, I got better. Real friends both on and off the internet. I got back to being Andrew again and I enjoyed life. I loved again. Really truly loved and felt loved and needed. I got all Kitty again.

Then it happened. This crap that triggered my jealousy and negativity. I don’t need it, nor do I want it. You’re horrible for bringing that out of me. I hate you for it. I FUCKING HATE YOU. I’ve never hated anyone this much, not since HER. Readers will never know who she is, unless I tell or have told, but I hate you even more than I hate her.

The fact that I’m listening to hateful heavy metal (btw, not all heavy metal is hateful, some is quite loving) helps to get this feeling out of my system.

See you. I’m gonna fucking burn that letter that you sent. I’m gonna send you a letter telling you not to send me any more letters and I’m going to totally forget about you. I’m never gonna forgive you. I fucking hate you. And I hate myself for hating you, so I’m just going to leave it at that. I’m going to forget about you, I’m going to stop the hate. All I need you to do is stop sending me letters and trying to communicate with me. You hurt me in the worst of ways, you needy, stupid bitch.