Like most three-year old’s, my daughter accidentally drops food onto the floor. A friend suggested I introduce the three-second rule. Providing I pick the food up within three seconds, and give it a quick blow, I could safely assume it’s not contaminated and safe for my daughter to eat. Personally, I don’t think it’s hygienic. Our pet spaniel watches my daughter at meal times, patiently waiting for the tiniest morsel to h...

Sir, Madam. German craftsmanship, combined with precision engineering is the reason I chose your eight-speed auto three-door coupe. I’m writing to complain about faults with the automatic transmission which I found disappointing! When I select ‘D’ for daytime, the car performs perfectly. It handles smoothly, the gear changes are undetectable. However, when I select ’N’ for nighttime, the performance is somewhat unpredicta...

Stepping into the chilly night air, the tequila shots went straight to my head! Last thing I remember was stroking your hair, pulling you in for a long goodnight kiss, before making my way home. Reaching the bottom of the stairs, I slipped off my shoes, pulled my top over my head, and whipped off my bra. Flashbacks of that heavenly kiss sent my libido racing as I staggered up the stairs. At the top, I marvelled at my topl...

I found her curled beneath a creosote bush, three miles out, where no one ever goes. Her parched lips mouthed, "I knew you'd come." I nursed her in my shelter, beneath the red stone cliff. Water first, in tiny sips, then slowly bits of food. At nightfall we sat across the fire, her eyes assaying me. "Coyote?" she whispered. "And Raven, too?" I gave no answer. We made love three times while the full moon arced. With each c...

1940: The bombing of London, (The Blitz) started in September. By December 1940, many thousands of bombs had dropped on London. Countless homes and businesses were destroyed. London had become a very dangerous place to live, especially for the children. A mass evacuation was organised. Special trains were laid on to move the children to safer locations around the country. One such child, Mary, called so because she was fo...

Edward sat at the head of the table gazing at the Christmas feast before him. A succulent roast turkey with cornbread stuffing. A basin of mashed potatoes just to the left of his grandmother’s antique tureen of gravy. Fruits and vegetables spread gloriously around the table. It was another wonderful year. The Christmas tree in the corner with a deluge of brightly wrapped packages set a joyful atmosphere, alongside the fir...

Tears cloud my vision as I finger ornaments from years past. This year's glaringly missing. Underneath twinkling lights, I reminisce, my fingers dancing along my aching flesh. I cannot duplicate your touches. Then, a hand covers mine. I gasp. "Is it really you?" Your kiss answers, replenishing me. We drip with need, becoming one again underneath the Christmas tree, showering one another with deathless love. You promise, "...

Seeing me struggle to write, he gave me this pen. "It's Mr. King's," he said, "my talented kin." It fit my hand well, but I noticed something strange. Yes, my words flowed smoothly, but became creepy, quite deranged. My mind twisted and turned, into darkness the ink bled. And so, I published, not romance, but ghastly horror instead. I'd made readers happy and tingly before. Now, I waited and watched their reactions to gor...

A pensioner went to the surgery for a sperm count test. The doctor gave him a jar to provide a sample. Next day, the man returned with the empty jar. Curious, the doctor asked why. "Well, first I tried with my right hand, then with my left, nothing. Then, my wife tried with both hands. Still nothing. She even tried with her mouth, but still no joy. Vera from next door tried with both hands and her mouth too, but still not...

I had a new hope, my dark fate was to be terminated. The rise of the machines was to lead to a new dawn. I had suffered in the jaws of a phantom menace, it wasn’t that I was psycho, more I was a victim of an attack of the clones . Judgement day was coming, the terminator of my fate was both my salvation and a genisys. I was to be reborn. I was to be the living doll, that became the prince of thieves. Thus my bank account...

It was a warm Greek evening, he found his love in the cypress labyrinth. There she was, as still as the statue of Aphrodite just a little way off. Her alabaster skin, soft and creamy in the moon's beams. He was strolling in the labyrinth, before his nightcap. He could not help but look upon her and pause in his journey. She looked just a little too long, as their eyes met. She saw her future, as she ran her tongue over he...

When Harry met Sally, he thought, ‘Somebody up there likes me.’ Totally bewitched at finding her among the bridesmaids at her best friend’s wedding, while he was best man. Laura, his favoured pretty woman, went, but he managed only a brief encounter with Sally. With friendly persuasion, someone gave him her apartment number. After forty-eight hours, he found Ten Rillington Place. It was high noon when he arrived. Nobody h...

Wandering around at the annual church fete, I spotted a bubbly Girl Scout standing beside a table covered in plates of delicious looking cookies. “Please buy some cookies from me!” she begged. “It’s for the charity appeal.” “How much are they?” I asked. “They’re £5 a dozen, except these two kinds over there. They’re £6 a dozen.” Figuring there must be something special about the plates of £6 cookies, I asked why that was....

Years ago, I worked the summer exhibitions around the country. In Liverpool, I met an encyclopaedia salesman. He was in his forties, and I was eighteen, but we hit it off immediately. He made it obvious what he wanted. On the last night after dining out we partied and made love for hours in my hotel room. When I woke up, he was gone, but he left me something that would remind me of him for the rest of my life. A complete...

Entering the jewellers he pointed at a bracelet. "I'll take that one please." The assistant boxed the bracelet and gift wrapped it. "That's an expensive gift, special occasion?" "It's a birthday gift. Only the best for my special lady." The assistant smiled and handed him the gift. Thanking the assistant he headed off homewards. Ringing the doorbell, he waited while she slowly opened the door. Giving her the gift, he gent...