We have finally reached the twenty-first century. What a time to be alive! I never speak to my neighbours, and they don’t speak to me. An old lady, who lived down the road, died in her apartment and wasn’t discovered for three months. The city streets, once empty at night, are now busy. I can walk around freely and wear what I like; nobody looks up or makes eye contact.

People go missing all the time. Nobody looks for them; nobody cares. There has never been a better time for me, Dracula. What a time to be alive—well, almost alive.