Charlene and I weren't dating. Or were we? I just didn't know. What I did know is that I liked being with her. Maybe she liked being with me, too. We had an uneasy peace; I was desperately afraid of hurting her, she held back when things got too personal. She was far too nice for to be treated as a conquest. Anyway, that really wasn't my style. I was a bit afraid too. We spoke of books, ideas, events, but never anything p...

Morning was my favorite time of day, sitting with a good cup of coffee, listening, watching the world awaken. This Friday morning, I sat in the dunes overlooking the Pacific Ocean, my coffee cup in hand. I thought I would winter over in San Francisco by couch surfing with friends. The same friend had offered me a temporary job at her framing shop. I strove to get up and out of the house before they awoke. It just seemed c...

I am sorry. There is little more that I can say. I was not the man you thought I was. In a better world, I would have loved you from afar, crying as I saw you pair up with another but seeing you happy. I have always known that I was different and not in a good way. You deserved someone who could support you and hold your trust. I, clearly, am not that man. Sooner or later, I drive everyone away.I cannot forgive myself for...

I walked up from the Ventura River bottom where I spent the night. Nighttime in a homeless camp is very different, a strange mixture of camaraderie and distrust. Not unpleasant, but not great either. I was only interested in sleep without spending money. Short on funds, I decided that sleeping in the dry river bottom was better than an alleyway waiting to be rousted by the police. The homeless had a great quality of not a...

I wrote my obituary today. It feels strange to write that, a surreal experience to say the least. How does one take stock of his life? If it is by money and status, then I am very poor indeed. If it is by the number of his friends, then I again fail. Did I have the most toys? Take the best vacations. Drive the fanciest cars? Will people remember me in one hundred years? The answer to all of these is, no. What did I do? I...

The storm was building in the distance, but there were stars directly overhead. I had sat out enjoying the warm evening and marveling at the wind waves through the short grass prairie. Evening comes with a storm building to the west. The blanket I lay on was still warm from the afternoon sun, and the only sound was the wind rustling the grass.I had been hitchhiking my way up to Mitchell to travel further west on I-90. The...

"I need a job."The boat owner looked up at me for a long time. "Let me see your hands."I put the backpack down carefully against the pier and held out my hands."You're no fisherman.""No, but I'm strong and work hard."The man looked at me as he took off his dirty Mariners hat and ran a dirty hand over the back of his neck. "You know mistakes kill you here.""Yep.""Well, my mate is in Juneau with his girlfriend for a couple...