I am sorry. There is little more that I can say. I was not the man you thought I was. In a better world, I would have loved you from afar, crying as I saw you pair up with another but seeing you happy. I have always known that I was different and not in a good way. You deserved someone who could support you and hold your trust. I, clearly, am not that man. Sooner or later, I drive everyone away.
I cannot forgive myself for hurting you so. You will never see me the same way again. That look in your eyes of disappointment and hurt is more than I can bear. It isn't you. I was given many gifts in life. Unfortunately, one that I didn't receive is how to connect to people. Not even the ones that I love.
I cherish the time we had. The fear that haunts me is that I wasted years of your life. It is strange to love someone so much and know you hurt them so badly. Things will never be the same. I hope you find a better man. I wish I was that better man.