9. MayDear Diary,I feel so stupid. Why can't I just tell them? Why can't I open my mouth and say it out loud? I can write it here--it's easy. I don't even care if somebody finds it written here. Why can't I report it? Why couldn't I just tell Boss today? Why couldn't I open my mouth and tell Adam? Why can't I say it?I've been abused for almost ten years. Ten years. See? Easy. I can write it. So easy. But it's like, if I s...

"If Heaven wasn't so far away, I'd pack up the kids and go for the day. Introduce 'em to their [father], watch 'em laugh at the way he talked." -If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away, Justin Moore.Boss watches as the two of them leave and waits for the door to close, then stands and paces from one end of her office to the other, thinking. The girl thought differently, but Boss could clearly read all the emotions playing out behind...

"Why didn't you just tell her? I know it's your stepfather. You live in the same house; he can't be that good at hiding it." I don't look at him. I get into his car and sigh at the warmth inside, shivering at the cold covering me from the inside out. He gets in and starts the car, turning on the heater for me even though he looks like he's roasting."I didn't tell her, because my stepfather doesn't do drugs--he drinks--and...

"Mommy! Mommy, I have to go potty." I tug on Mommy's summer dress and she looks down and smiles. It is a tired smile, but she grabs my hand and starts towards the women's restroom. He stops her, kissing her softly. "You look tired, dear. Go sit down, I'll take her." He smiles and she nods, letting go of my hand as he takes my wrist. She sits on a bench around the corner. He takes me to the men's restroom and back to the h...

My arms are white with self-wrapped bandages from my wrists up to my elbows. I have a large tank-top on underneath a long-sleeved jacket. Can't exactly wear it the whole day--it's supposed to be in the 80s today. Funny, summer doesn't start for two weeks--after I turn 18--and I'm already finding it difficult to cover up.There's a bruise on my wrist. I tried to cover it as much as I could, but it's still semi-visible. Step...

"Be awake early tomorrow morning, 'Lena."I shiver and curl up farther into my covers. I don't know what he has in store for me. He's never up earlier than he has to be, which is usually around the time I get home. It's Spring now. I turn eighteen in another couple months and graduate the month after that. Or, maybe, if I pass the test I have in Pre-Calc today. I hear footsteps and then my doorknob turns and the door opens...

Laughingwith friends.Smilingand happy.Jokingfor fun.Bouncingabout,Nothingwrong.Denied.Goingto parties.Dancingthe night away.Walkingwith my head up.Singing,free-spirited.Denied.Crying happy tears instead ofsad.Looking in the mirror,Loving myself instead ofhating.Awaking instead ofsleeping.Breathing instead ofdrowning.Denied.Living instead ofdyingto be okay.Denied.

At age five, I had already experienced the loss of a parent. My biological father died of lung cancer. At age six, I had already experienced alcoholism, though not personally. My mom was glued to her wine. That was how I found her one day, walking into the house. I had just gotten home from school and she was already drunk off her ass."Mommy? Mommy, I know you miss Daddy... but I miss you..." She was passed out on the flo...

"Every day is one more inch of a slow blade sinking in. Vision fading, suffocating inside my own skin... And I'm fighting the stranger in my eyes, and I know that only one of us will survive. If I can't save us, I've got to save myself. I can't stay here in this place... I'm slowly freaking out, I'm slowly freaking out and out and out again." - Skylar Grey, Slowly Freaking Out.Eight months after the trials to put Stepmons...

I'm going to tell you a story. Yes, you, the reader. You, dear reader, are going to learn my story. My life."Rejected?" No college,no future,no reason for meto stay here.I travelled all around the world,met the mostwonderful guy.Lost all my moneyon a house he now owns.Lived in a box,parents laughing from above,thinking themselves clowns.Got a job,saved up some money,moved far,far away.Cut my hair,caked on make-upslipped o...

"Let me out. Let me out. Let me out." -Video of Alyssa Lies by Jason Michael Carroll.***"Hello?"I jump at the voice behind me, and try to smile, but it's a grimace and he knows it."How are you, Philena? I haven't seen you in school for a week."Adam is too curious for his own good. Someday he'll learn to leave some secrets... just be."Oh, I'm fine. Taking a little bit for myself... mental health days and such. I should be...

I pause at my locker to switch out my books and binders during my appointed lunch time. I'm just about to head to the library to finish up today's homework for Calculus, College Writing, and ASL when Adam strolls up to his locker next to mine. He doesn't seem to ever change clothes. Today is another black on black on black with black leather boots. Other girls might call him "hot" or "sexy", but I just see another guy......

"Does that make more sense now?"I look down at my paper- Calculus homework that only an hour ago would have completely stumped me and had me giving up. It does make more sense. I could finish this in 15 minutes now. Easy.I nod and smile, eyes wide in surprise."Good... what time did you say you had to be home by?"I look up from my homework- almost finished, by the way- and glance at the clock. 4:45pm."Fuck! I have to be ho...

This whole entire week has had me ranting about one thing or another, but the issue with the largest presence in my mind is Child Abuse... or abuse of any sort, really. How can a person look at a child of any age, whether it is their child or grandchild or a friend's child or whatever and hurt them? How do you look into wide, loving, trusting, innocent eyes and suck all that out of them, one punch at a time? How do you br...

"Soundless as a Shadow I stay in my room all evening.Drawing any sort of attentionto myself would be an enormousmistake. Shh! Turn off the music.Ever now and again, Daddy leaves his own room, on a Turkeyhunt. Staccato footsteps accompanyhis muttered threats and pleas. You can't leave me. I won'tlet you. I'm not a little boyanymore. I'll go after you.Please. Don't leave me!I keep the bedside lampvery low. It sheds a pale, ...