As I spoke about in The Ways of Religion and Belief, I did not keep many friends in my transition between elementary school and middle school. In this one, you will learn of that part of my life, and how it shapes me today. I was quite a bit more shy when I was younger, and even just a couple years ago. Since then... I've attempted to come out of the shell a bit, and I have... a little. Anyway, I had one dear friend in fi...

Talk to me, You'll get to know me, You'd never know, That what I'm about to say, is true. "Don't feel like Satan, but I am to them, so I try and forget it any way I can." Neil Young. I believe in... ...love ...happiness ...realization ...uniqueness ...helping ...and acceptance. Now, I will tell you about what I was thinking about last night, and what I thought of all those years that I tried to force myself to believe lik...

"When I said good morning, I was lying. I was truly thinking of how I might quit waking up. He pointed out how selfish it would be to kill myself, so I keep waking up..." Flyleaf, Much Like Falling She looks up at the light, lying in her bed. She closes her eyes again, wonders what lies beyond. Would it be easier? Her eyes travel to the closet, that shelf hides numbness. Her mind travels to the feeling, all that bad being...

Pick up the pencil, Now swap the ends, Eraser faces the paper. Erase... The hips. Erase... The stomach. Erase... The thighs. Erase... The behind. There, Now swap it back around, Draw what you want to look like. Erase... The fat. Draw... Perfect.

I just ... Just want you to hold me. To hold my hand as we walk through the park. To hold me tight when I wake from a nightmare. Just want you to hold me. ... wish ... Wish for time. Time to talk. Time to laugh. Time to smile and breathe and be . Wish for time. ... you were ... You were okay. Not sick. Happy. I want to hear that laugh I love so much, see you smile as we Skype, know that you'll be okay when I get off the p...

Raven stands at the end of the bed, looking at him as he sleeps, wondering what he's dreaming about. Was it the same as her? Was it the wish to talk for hours on end at night like they did at first? Wishing for more time together? Wishing to just be  held , be loved?"John?" she whispers, standing next to him. He mumbles nonsense for a second, then looks up at her face- something was wrong, he could see it in her eyes."Wha...

"I can be tough,I can be strong,But with youit's not like thatat all...There's a girlwho gives a shit,Behind this wall,You just walk through it." I have walls... They're up at school and in front of my family and some of my friends, but I can't seem to keep them up around you. They're all always down with you, and I'm weak and my heart's vulnerable and when I need you... I need you. when I have my off days, I need you. wh...

trembles shakes shudders eyes open wide in fear, a scream at her lips, looking into the blue eyes of the monster... he haunts her dreams at night doesn't let her rest in every single one it seems he does something bad being an unwelcome guest. the terror grips her every time and she feels her heart stop in her chest. She wakes up in her rooman empty bedthere's nobody there to comfort herand take these frightening thoughts...

Can you, can you See through my disguise? Will you, will you See me in my eyes? Can I, can I Hide my true self? Will I, will I Put my heart up on the shelf? This is a mask that you see, I doubt you could take the real me. Would you, would you Still want to be around me? Could you, could you Just stay by me? Should I, should I Speak up, speak out? Could I, could I... Ask you to just hold me? [I'm sorry]

Lay on my bed,Hug a pillow, curl up to the wall,I just want to be held.

“You should know I’m dangerous…” -Alesana, The Murderer.  His stare pierces her, Embedding itself in her mind. The knife was hidden somewhere, He told her that much, Didn’t tell her where, Just if she found it, she would live. He found it, Dripping red from his past, Shining in the light from the one lamp, Slicing the air… “It’s hard to believe, but I’m… having fun.” Tease her with it, Slicing small wounds. Tying her up,...

Running through each and every hall, Dead ends, Friends have been killed, One is tied up, stuck, Little kid, murdered. Eyes wild, Knife in hand, He chases me. "I'm going crazy without you... it's hard to believe, but I'm having fun." Alesana, The Murderer. He killed her brother, why not me?

Trembling hands, Shaky body, Watering eyes, Whirling thoughts... as I stand by your graveside.

Play your music loud,Headphones on, secure on yourhead. Block the world out.

"And the shadow of the day will embrace the world in grey and the sun will set for you..." ~Linkin Park, Shadow of the Day. The hospital walls, They surround her, all white, no color, all pain. The smell of death lingers in the sheets in the pillows in the air She can't escape fast enough But there was a reason she was there, to say something of love to help someone along to say goodbye To a life she'd known.