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I decided to try my hand at a mostly-dialogue story... lemme know how it sounds...

"Follow me, follow me, I've more rooms to show you still! Follow me, follow me, you buzzards!" "Buzzards? Why, pardon me, but you offered!" "Yes, well. I didn't think you'd actually want to see." You never have before... Idiot, you're an idiot, never offer if you aren't ready to show. "Why would we ignore an offer? That's stupidity, that is!" Well, hell, I don't know, why did all your buddies ignore my offers?  "So where'...