Christmas. Twinkly lights. Bright colored wrapping paper. Curly-Que ribbons. A tree taking up valuable space in your living room. Now, because of greed and sucker marketing, it lasts for two months instead of one. I hate this time of year. I also hate Thanksgiving, birthdays, weddings and funerals. Usually, anything involving people. I know. Hard to believe I’ve been married to the same person for 48 years and that my fam...

It started out as usual. Murphy announced the specials for the night.  "We got your appetizers. Two of 'em, as usual. Frijoles Charros which is just heirloom beans with some applewood smoked bacon. Push that. Chef got too much bacon this week. It's gotta be used. He stared at Jesse, expecting her to mouth off. Not this time. "So, going on, we got the other one. Ostiones Empanizados. Okay, I'll translate. No need to raise...

(The Prophet) There’s work to be done in this world, but it’s not work for boys or girls. Where once there were people of a great and mighty nation, Now all I see is a slave generation. A Slave Generation. Slave to your phone, to the drugs you rejoice, slave to the music, it’s all your choice.   (The Populace) But I don’t need work done in my world, Work isn’t needed for boys or girls, Where once there were people of mora...

Time. A valuable commodity to some. Not so much to others. You, for example. Clock-watching your work day. Each hour creeping by as if in a time warp. Rushing home for dinner. Spend time with the kids. Must get to bed because tomorrow is another day. Hump day. Payday. Weekends. Vacations. Doctor appointments. Taxes. All controlling your life through time. Me? I’m a retired empty-nester. I couldn’t give a shit less. Time i...

I used to read books once It had a beginning, a middle, and an end Now I just type a bunch of letters Then hit send.   I used to carry photos They made my wallet fat Now I just slide back and forth on my phone I guess that takes care of that.   I used to have lots of change And hunt for phone booths to call Now I just call wherever I’m at I don’t have to have change at all.   I used to unfold maps Trying to fold them back...

To:  cynthiaj@ourtheatre.org Hi Cynthia,I saw in the trade today that you are still looking for an actor to be in Carlos' play. I know you had posted auditions to be held last night but they had been sparsely attended. If you folks are interested in someone my age being a part of the play I would be willing to come by this evening.I would be happy to fill a role for you on this late notice.I should remind you that I was i...

I’m a six-banger Hammer-fanner Rapid fire lover.   I’m fully loaded On the prowl Looking for action under covers.   Target defined Weapon drawn Gunsmoke and powder.   Bullseyes amassed Handle is notched Cries getting louder and louder.   As chambers turn And shells ejected My prey has been fully shot   What’s that you say? Oh, boy I say “Kind sir, is that all you got?”   I look around No ammunition to be found I smile a s...

How’s by you, Grady Lee? Funniest thing happened yesterday. This nice lady from the Veterans Administration stopped by and said what I really needed, I mean with my having gone from hard of seeing to being blinder than any known bat, was one of those so-called smart Apple iPhones. I told her I knew a bit about the thing, how you made gestures to work it, and let her know I'd been making gestures at my computer for years,...

He strolled into her life from out of the BlueOne sweet drunken text later“Take my hand baby, I got enough love for two.”She took it and slowly two hands became one  A sassybunny with a cheeky grinShe captured the heart of the man of SinAlways a picture from head to toe Even her boots are off now, you know  He slapped her assWith a cheeky grin“Keep it up and you’ll getthe clothesline again.” She giggled and wiggledAs she...

Here’s a poem I just wrote It doesn’t matter about what or who There’s nothing here for you to quote I just needed to get to 132.   I’m number 12 on the SS list And looking up Mysteria27’s (148) dress Then Adagio (173) and Fuzzy (176) can’t be missed Frogprince (187) keeps writing at his best.   Circle_Something (197) is number 7 in line With Maryruth (199) and Shotgun011 (230) just ahead And then The_Count (243) is doing...

One couple arrived at the residence. They hoped to find a perfect place to raise a family. It wasn't to be. Another couple had been quicker. They were there earlier and, so, they got first pick on available housing. The lucky couple's kind was abundant in this country. They'd been brought here for a purpose. They'd fulfilled their purpose. They just wanted to live happily. As did the couple watching them consider this new...

Is it just me… or has anyone else noticed that our sneaky ass markets went from 12-ounce cans to 10-ounce? So now when a recipe calls for a 12-ounce can of weasel nuts, our calculations are all messed up and the recipe is screwed. Is it just me… or has anyone else noticed that paper towels don’t absorb as much anymore? They just don’t wick up liquids like they used to. I find myself hollering, “Honey, bring me a bath towe...

I’ve been told I write too dark. Just my way of saying life isn’t a walk in the park. Some say I have no humor. That’s just a rumor. I laugh now and then. There was this one time back in 2010. It was way more than just a smirk. I’m not a complete jerk. Although, I am a piece of work. With at least one quirk. I always try to write from the heart. Which may not make me very smart. Giving you the best I got. Maybe not. I cou...

Looking closer, I realize who shambling man is.My ex, G, Garbageman. I should have known. He never could resist anything in polyethylene.I stand up, adjust my cocktail umbrella "dress", ready to confront that no good ex-garbageman. I'm about to grab his arm when I see the Glad lady has returned dressed in an orange bag. That was always our color.Ready to tell him what I think, I'm inturrupted. An inspector starts listing...

Head throbbing I open my eyes."Why am I still in the bar?"I remember ordering a few non-virgin Hannahs. The table in front of me is covered in cocktail umbrellas. I look down aware that I am wearing an "outfit" made entirely of cocktail umbrellas. It gets worse. I notice the "exercise" pole has several umbrellas stuck to it."Oh god, what happened?"I risk a furtive look around the bar. Among the usual patrons of Rumps' the...