I've got a twenty dollar bill rolled up that says money's best use is when it isn't being spent

I roll it over and over in my brain time and time/again and again
but it's all memories as that blurred part of my life is now complete
and I'm just like every other adult I told myself I never would be

Fuck, I hate this. I don't want this.
I want my dormroom, I want my girlfriend,
I want my mind fogged because all it sees when it's clear are the fingerprint stains

I can't even fucking sleep anymore.

Incidentally, dreams are an accidental reality
and normally under circumstances of rationality
I'd submit to the necessary and fuck originality
and write chords which have all the familiarity
of songs written since the 1950's

I remember she used to say to me
(as she said "dont make fun of me, I know, I'm corny")
that the sun always sets and things grow black
but give it time, the sun will rise, and the light will come back

well the light's been gone for a while now,
and there's no more room left in the power outlet
the light that once was is blocked off-
a sort of temporary eclipse
and I haven't exactly been the definition of an optimist
and, if you think about it
if you think about this
there is nothing, really, as despairing and depressing as a 21 year old pessimist