This is the personal blog of the ineffably, inestimably awesome Mister Impossible, Super-villain First Class, Mad Scientist, Master of Malevolent Magic, Soon-To-Be Master of The Universe. The views expressed by the author do not reflect the views of the Think Tank, the Lords of Injustice, the Royal Academy, or any other super-villainous or scientific organizations. For more information about Mister Impossible's dastardly...

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Once upon a time in a land not so far away there lived a beautiful little girl. And her eyes were sometimes blue and sometimes green, but her hair was always golden, and her friends (of which there were very many) called her Goldilocks. And Goldilocks was sweet and kind and always did the best she could, and she smiled often, because she loved her life. But her parents wished she was smarter and worked harder at school –...

Capt. April knew, with this disturbing news, he needed to rethink his original plan. There was no chance of outrunning the enemy and he had to consider them hostile. The consequences of doing otherwise and being caught off-guard could be catastrophic for both the EAS Stalwart and the Alliance. The Captain would do anything necessary to ensure the safety of his crew and ship, but he recognized that he had a responsibility...

I went to the door, I couldn't think who would be here at 3AM. I was writing, I found early morning a good time to think. I wasn't thinking when I opened the door, I wasn't thinking when I immediately slammed it either. I took a breath and opened it again. Sure enough, the scene hadn't changed one bit. He stood there and grinned at me, then said, “You're not dreaming, may I come in?” I stepped aside as he came in. “I knew...

WC: 6343   KX730, Solarian Sector Naval Command Destroyer Glimmer of Time   "Mayday, mayday, mayday, this is kilo xray seven three zero, going down. Anti-gravity fields almost destroyed, primary drive destroyed, ship integrity questionable." "Mayday, mayday, mayday, Captain Guzman, Kilo Xray seven three zero, SSNC Destroyer Glimmer of Time going down, planetary system reference Charlie four niner six. Planet three." I sai...

It was a strange creature, the size of a cat, with an extremely stocky build. Its face was so flat that it was nearly concave. Its eyes looked in all different directions, marbles spinning in sockets too big, and its thick wavy black fur stuck out in randomly-directed, coarse tufts. Its most prominent feature was its disproportionately large rump. It didn’t nibble or pull at the clover, but more so slammed its face into t...

He was old. Older than anything he knew, except maybe that murderous sun and this planet, it was roasting. As far as he knew, he was the only living thing left, and his time was running out. The sun used to be hot when he was young too. But that was not the same kind of hot. It was nice then, to be on the surface of the cool water, feeling the rays of the sun pooring warmth into his body. He wasn't alone then, there were...

The time had come for me to wear something new for my dreamboat, so he gave me a card that makes numbers and told me to go into town. He called me useless and stupid, but I did find my way to the fashion store. I got there all on my own. The only trouble was, I was already in the fashion store, and I watched myself liking the very same dresses that I liked. I didn't know what to do. The other me saw me and waved. I still...

(This short story is graduation day for the elite of the elite, Space Marines... It is based on one of my eBooks 'Rocer Penal Colony' available at most eBook sites, but not needed for this.) "Come in, come in. Find a seat. Welcome." Four hundred new Space Marines filed in and took seats in the auditorium. Bringing it to near capacity. Either it was me or they were getting younger each year. "Ladies and gentlemen, my name...

K-Lunk Ptet WC: 5200 MF Burbaugh “K-Lunk Ptet,” it said again. “Look, I have no idea what you are saying,” I told it. I still wasn't sure what the hell the it was, but this was my damn land and no stinking robocop was telling me what to do. It seemed to stop, like it wasn't sure what it wanted to do, then it spun partway around and pointed a thing at a dirt hill and the damn hill exploded. Well okay, so it impressed me; s...

I came to the conclusion that the room must contain an Air Vent, after much searching I found it behind my bunk. I was able to wriggle my body inside, it was very tight and dark. Now that I had dealt with the Droid, I now just had to find a way out of my prison, and that would be easier said than done. Distant at the top of the air shaft was a faint light. I started to climb upwards. Towards my escape, hopefully towards s...

The strange contact was a mystery. It had energized the bridge crew, in a way rarely seen. They were keen to find the answers to this unexpected puzzle. There adrenaline was pumping, but they had been cautioned during training about this sort of adventurous occasion. While the bridge crew awaited the XO’s arrival, PO Goddard continued to review and analyze the signal. It was incredibly weak. If the Stalwart were still usi...

“We are not interested in the possibilities of defeat. They do not exist.” Queen Victoria 1890. Tiredness overcame me and I drifted back towards the sullen inkiness of sleep. I knew then in my soul that something terrible had overcome the ship and its crew. Unless I found a way out of this grey room in which I had been confined for an uncertain period of time then the same fate would overcome me as well. I watched the Med...

The H.M.S Minerva Flashes of memory: hands pulling me from the wreckage. I dreamed of Queen Victoria floating in her cylinder of luminiferous ether, her black dress billowing slowly in the fluid. The fluid keeping her eternally alive. Her hands pressing against the glass, her mouth moving but her words made silent by the substantial dimension of the glass. Flashes of memory : distorted faces... When I awoke, I found mysel...