Merry Christmas to you all

How festive are you feeling?

Are you enjoying the Christmas lights,

and decorations on the ceiling?

Did you wake up bright and early,

and rush out your bedroom door?

Or did you drink too much last night,

and wake up on the floor?

Whatever your current condition

you must enjoy the festive cheer

For those of you with hangovers

Just have another beer.

Eat, drink and be merry

indulge in those mince pies

unwrap that awful Christmas jumper

fake smile and act surprised

Is it your child's first Christmas?

Yeah, you should have just bought a box

Grandad's, Uncle's, walk around proudly

in those Christmas novelty socks

Just have fun, enjoy the day

Use mistletoe for Christmas kisses

But most importantly, remember this

It's not just Mum's job to clean the dishes.