I found some footprints in the snow. Although I didn’t know where they would go, I followed them just the same. The snowstorm in my brain makes me ask once again, am I sane? Will the footprints ever stop and reach a destination? My tormented soul following in isolation. I know I can’t go on, how long have I been gone? Following the footsteps of someone, something, without meaning. Wondering why there is no intervening. Nothing to cross this path, and nothing to light the way, I follow, and I pray. It’s been forever and a day that I’ve been led astray, and I have nothing to say. So please go away.

The snow falls hard as I tread silently. I look straight ahead, yet I can never see. Thee. We. Me. I follow relentlessly. Chasing what will never be, never free. I follow the lies and trust the deceit, I’m going in circles, stuck on repeat. Why do I follow? What do I seek? Solitude and quiet, from this inner riot. A goal that seems so far, and still I wish on every falling star. I hope to find peace. I seek for complete release. I want these footprints to cease. But they go on. As do I.

I look to the sky and stop asking why and you never hear me cry. Sigh….Storming ahead, I follow where I am led. With no end in sight, the day becomes night, I march on, and I fight. Against the elements, the dramatized sentiments, forgetting what I once meant. I pause and repent, returning what was sent, not knowing where I went. I advance without care, will I know when I am there, will I find that someone to share? Will we walk together everywhere? I think that is my hope. It is how I cope. Hoping to be free and just be with someone who simply cares for me. Seems silly, I know, following footprints in the snow. I find the answer every day, my heart sings as I skip and play. But it quickly goes away, and again I am lost. My heart covered in frost, as I continue the trip I can feel myself slip but know I’ll never fall. I’ve got a tight grip.

What will happen when the winter ends? Will we make amends? Will we start all over again? The footprints will be gone, and after following for so long, Can I sing my own song? Can I once be right or be forever wrong? Spring is so far away, for now the footsteps stay. Am I being led astray? I want to believe the things you say, but as you can see, I am not okay. The smile you see is real. I do feel. I will heal. And at the end of the day, I will find my way. Until I am lost again, remembering what I’ve always said. It’s all in my head. And it is. Always in my head. The hope and the fear the love and the loss. Until I am dead, I will follow where I am led.

The footprints in the snow will become footprints in the sand. I will eventually catch up, and we will walk hand in hand. It won’t matter where we have been. It won’t matter where we land. We will find the now to share somehow. We’ll make footprints in the snow for someone else to follow. Thee. We. Me. Will one day be.