Hat etiquette. Some have it, most don’t. It’s a shame, really. Good manners cost just a little time, but have the potential to gain you a lot of respect.

Granted, people don’t wear formal hats very much any more, but that doesn’t mean that the average guy wearing a baseball cap, or similar informal headwear, shouldn’t show good manners.

The doffing of one’s hat is an important skill to master. You can either take the hat off very slightly and then put it back on, but that way is probably not best if you live in a windy area. You could tilt your head slightly forward, but that could be mistaken for a rude gesture. The best way, I’ve found, is to touch the brim just a little and tilt your head forward. That way, a lady knows she’s being doffed at. Doffing is a sign of respect, as well as a part of a greeting. Usually, when a man meets a woman he knows or wants to talk to, he doffs his hat and says hello.

There are other reasons for doffing your hat, too. If you’re meeting a dignitary or other such important person, you should always doff your hat. No exceptions. Even if they aren’t looking in your direction, or even if they walk past without even acknowledging you, someone will have noticed and will respect you for it.

When to remove your hat is also an issue. Some people get it spot on, others fail. If you’re riding public transport, it is fine to keep the hat on, as long as you’re not obscuring anyone’s view. If you think you’re going to be obscuring a view, take it off.

In a public building, it is also fine to wear your hat, but if you’re meeting someone, remove it whilst you wait. Don’t bother removing it in an elevator. Likewise, keep it on in hallways. But, what to do when you remove it? If you’re sitting, don’t twiddle with it. That shows a lack of respect and care for your hat and for the person whom you are meeting. You have two choices, really. The first choice is ask if there’s a place where you can check your coat and hat in. If such a facility doesn’t exist, you then have some other choices. You can set it on a nearby table, as long as your hat isn’t obscuring anything or hindering anyone’s use of the table. You can put it under your chair, which is preferable. Or you can put it in your lap. This is okay, but be careful where you put your hands. You don’t want to seem like a pervert.

How to put your hat down. There’s a way for this, too. Always, without fail, put it down on the crown. Never rest a hat on the brim. This is for two reasons: To protect the hat from mis-shaping and to show people that there’s nothing inside your hat. It builds trust because you’re showing that you’ve got nothing to hide.

With a little practice, hat etiquette becomes natural. A hat is like an extension of you, but it can also top off a nice outfit. There was one time I was going for a job interview and I really wanted to wear my hat. If you can imagine, I was wearing a nice black suit, black shoes, navy blue shirt and dark blue and white striped tie. I had to tie it all together, so I wore my hat. Now, I’m not being cocky, but I felt really dapper in a suit and hat. My prospective employer didn’t think so, though.

They felt intimidated by it. I wore a fedora, one of my favourite hat styles. For those who don’t know, a fedora has a wide brim with no snap and a medium sized crown with a pinch in it. It is similar to a trilby, but the trilby is much smaller and with a rather large snap at the back. A snap is basically a large curl in the fabric. I find trilbies to be a little less formal than fedoras. I should note that I’m using the British definitions of those two hats. For American, a trilby is what we call a fedora and vice versa.

Now, I decided, as it was a job interview, to wear the fedora. The employer said it was a little too intimidating. No, that wasn’t the word he used... Imposing, I believe it was. Of course, I argued that it was simply a piece of headgear and that it had nothing to do with my work ethic or experience. Yes, I could have taken him to a tribunal, but there’s not point fighting a battle that I most likely would have lost.

I don’t fight battles that I’m likely to lose. I generally try to stay away from fighting, if possible. I wasn’t always like that, but when I was fighting all the time, it was literally for survival. My neighbours and their friends were such arseholes, forgive the vulgarity. They fought with me daily and the only way I could get them to stop, was to beat them senseless before they beat me senseless. Not that they had any sense at all.

A true gentleman has sense. He knows his battles, when and how to walk away from them. Speaking of walking, here’s a handy tip: Protect your lady. Walk on the side nearest the road, so that she doesn’t get knocked over, should a speeding car lose control.

Also, be polite. Hold doors open for her. So few men do this any more. I tend to hold doors open for people and give up my seat on a bus for old people. It isn’t some olde worldy thing, it’s respect.

Pull her seat out when you go to dinner with her. Small touches like that make a gentleman. Put them all together and you’ve got yourself a nice human.

Take heed gentlemen, manners cost nothing, but a little bit of time.