ALRIGHT, QUIET EVERYBODY!

No one is to leave — and that means you three. Names please.

Ahem, it has been drawn to our attention that there has recently been some highly irregular behaviour in this bar, and there will be prosecutions.

Do you want me to spell them out?

1. Wearing of non-biodegradable plastic.

2. Abuse of cocktail party products.

3. Oral gestures of a forbidden nature.

4. Excess perspiration of an offensive nature.

5. Uncontrolled expectoration.

You had better come quietly.

Okay, it’s going to be like that is it? 

Cuff them sergeant.