Thirty Forever

Back when I was in my thirties, after a particularly heavy snow-storm, I noticed the school-kids having snowball fights every day as they walked by my house on their way to school. I decided to have a little fun with them. I hid behind the hedgerow in my front garden. After stock-piling snowballs ready for the attack, the kids eventually started drifting past, in their two's and three's. I started throwing, then ducking back down. Those hit, looked about and blamed their friends on the other side of the avenue, whereupon a huge snowball fight started.

I was behind the hedge hidden from view, but I couldn't contain my giggles at causing the fight. When they heard and realised I was the culprit, the little buggers ganged up and pelted me together en masse. The whole house behind me was soon covered in snowballs. Some of their shots drifted over and hit the next door neighbours' house. Whilst being great fun for me, it was for them too, seeing their huge grins. The pavement started to appear again through the snow where the lads had scraped it off ready to pelt at me. We were all laughing at each others efforts at trying to be evasive but ending with a snowball in the mush anyway.

At one point I slipped and went down on my arse. I couldn't get my breath, with all the laughter and the snow in my mouth. Every time I tried to get up another volley of snowballs from all directions hit me and sent me tumbling again. They were ruthless. My next door neighbour, who was a right old misery guts, slammed his door open and shouted to us all,

"Oi!" Together we stopped mid-throw, he turned to me, gave a scathing look and said. "Why don't you act your bloody age?" To which I replied, "I am." Then I turned and threw a right smacker into the face of one of the schoolboys and the whole thing started again. My neighbour slammed his door in disgust.

Age is just a number, be whatever age you like, I want to be thirty forever.