I stand in my tiny kitchen to get a cool glass of apple juice. I grip the bottle tightly as I pour. I stop pouring, not because the glass is full, but because my hand shakes so violently. The shaking is worse now. I can barely hold anything without shaking anymore. I know something is wrong, but no one listens to me. I finally fill my glass after three attempts, I do not spill any this time.

I slide the glass across the counter to where my computer waits. My email flags a message from my doctor. I look at the one line description. "New test result," it reads. I ponder if I should read it. When I had the last test for colon cancer, they found three growths, all benign.

This time there are three more to be biopsied. The doctor says to me that he wants to see me in three years instead of the usual five. It scares me to hear that. Is there something wrong? Do I appear to have cancer? What is going on? I get no answer, but wait for the results.

Slowly I open the email and login to my patient account at the hospital. With shaking hands and heaving breath, I open the message. After wading through all the medical terms of what they cut from inside my body, I read the results.

The three growths are benign. I smile and feel relief, but still concern. I will go back in three years, but pray there is nothing new.