It was my first trip to Vegas. I was single and decided it was finally time to visit the place that so many of my friends and relatives had raved about. There was no Internet to check room rates back them, but the travel section in the Sunday paper always showed which agents had junkets to Vegas and the prices. After a few calls and one visit to a local agent I found one at a great price and booked it.

The anticipation and excitement I felt vanished when I wound up sitting in front of an older male that burped, moaned and farted while he read aloud from a Vegas travel brochure to his wife, and she was sound asleep. I say moaned because he was one of these annoying folks that put sound behind every exhale.

We encountered a strong headwind and we not making any decent time, and unknown reason there was no movie being offered. When we landed to take on food I suddenly smelled cigarette smoke, and left my seat to investigate.

There I found of the two flight attendants enjoying a smoke at the entrance to the Jetway. They requested that I return to my seat, but I declined. I lit up and related the experience of sitting in front of the burping, farting and moaning machine. They were somewhat sympathetic but again requested I return to my seat.

It was at that point the pilot exited the cockpit and placed a cigarette in his mouth while the attendants proceeded to tell on me, if this had been post 09/11 I would have been in trouble. I produced my police ID and told the pilot my tale of woe "Oh let him enjoy his cigarette," was his response. I returned to my seat feeling less stressed, and it was a dammed good thing as we didn't reach Vegas for another two hours thanks to the persistent headwind.

Upon landing at McCarren I exited the plane as fast as possible and headed for the nearest bar/coffee shop. Back then they were all over the airport, and smoking was permitted in them, providing you purchased a beverage. So I paid 5 dollars for a Ginger Ale took a seat at the bar to relax and unwind.

Another bad flight was I was returning from a vacation Cancun. It was a small aircraft and I shared my two seat row with a very stunning teenager, who for reasons unknown decided to return to the Northwest in middle of February wearing her cut off jean short-shorts, flip flops and a tiny bikini top.

Less than 10 minutes into the flight she complained to her Mom and Dad who were seated in the row in front of us that she was freezing. Well Mom and Dad didn't have any extra clothing to give her and I could see she was shaking. So I offered her my lined satin gym jacket which she gratefully accepted. She was a little bitty thing, maybe 5'0" and 100 lbs so she donned my jacket which covered my 6 foot and 240 pound frame and curled herself into a ball and fell fast asleep. Now I was the one who was cold. I asked the flight attendant to have them raise the cabin heat, they never did.

I asked for a blanket, she informed me that they were all taken. This was easily the worst airline I was ever on, I couldn't even get a cup of hot tea, but I toughed it out. As soon as the wheels touched the runway in Ohio the young lady woke up, and handed me my jacket. I got a kiss on the cheek and a thank you.

I was the first to reach the doors to the Customs area and held the door open because 97% of the passengers were senior citizens and were laden down with items to declare and which meant I would be last in line, I didn't care because I was home. I was rewarded for my kindness

The person holding the double glass doors on other side of turned out to be another Customs agent. "Follow me", he said as the last person walked through the doors. He then opened up a 2nd declaration line and I was first in line, and since I had only a carry on and nothing to declare I was through in under two minutes...

Those were among the last junkets I ever flew...